[ Restless dreams. ]
Mother's Day and the like never meant anything warm or cold to me until this year. Now it's simply on my nerves, considering what's transpired.
I wonder why there's holiday for grandparents and parents, but nothing for siblings. I doubt a lot of older siblings understand how much they influence the younger, what their presence means.
Ukon, if mother rings, I don't want to talk to her. I did, however, assemble a strawberry shortcake for you for breakfast. ♥
[Private yet transcribed in a paper journal open to Ukon's viewing elsewhere]
I really, really can't sleep right recently and it's fucking with my concept of time. Alarms everywhere, one by my bed, one on my watch, and I can't remember to take my antipsychotics at night.
I'm afraid of going crazier and I hate the counselor I'm seeing, the parents picked her out and she cuts my minutes short...and all this Mother's Day shit, I just keep thinking, if Ukon didn't figure out what was wrong with me, she would have just covered it up. Hid the twin that had the manic episode until it...what, passed? Then I would have just triggered again and again like grandfather did. Ukon read up on bipolar disorder so I didn't have to and now I can try and battle it, at least.
I'm tired, and I don't feel like playing with people right now.
[/Private]
I wonder why there's holiday for grandparents and parents, but nothing for siblings. I doubt a lot of older siblings understand how much they influence the younger, what their presence means.
Ukon, if mother rings, I don't want to talk to her. I did, however, assemble a strawberry shortcake for you for breakfast. ♥
[Private yet transcribed in a paper journal open to Ukon's viewing elsewhere]
I really, really can't sleep right recently and it's fucking with my concept of time. Alarms everywhere, one by my bed, one on my watch, and I can't remember to take my antipsychotics at night.
I'm afraid of going crazier and I hate the counselor I'm seeing, the parents picked her out and she cuts my minutes short...and all this Mother's Day shit, I just keep thinking, if Ukon didn't figure out what was wrong with me, she would have just covered it up. Hid the twin that had the manic episode until it...what, passed? Then I would have just triggered again and again like grandfather did. Ukon read up on bipolar disorder so I didn't have to and now I can try and battle it, at least.
I'm tired, and I don't feel like playing with people right now.
[/Private]