in order to afford the iraqi war budget
president bush is cutting the resource funding for the peace corp IN HALF. i have so many friends going into the peace corp right now, that i can only hope that they get the funding they need to get through their time there - i think that i would like to do it at some point in my life, but at the moment, i wonder how beneficial it would be for my career. who knows - good resume staple for sure, but not sure what it will bring me, aside from a specific perception of a certain society and culture. i have no qualms about that, but i am certain that i need something bigger and better than what i am currently working on and the environment that i am inhabiting. i've decided though, that i want to stay state side at present - i've got a great deal of things that i need to workout before i run away from this country again.
i got work a week or two ago that my swedish aunt will be moving her family from helsingborg, sweden to shanghai, china for her husband's work. i'm sure she will be fine, but i really hope that they keep the house that they own on the north sea - it's a gorgeous view, great location, and has some great memories for me when i was in denmark - particularily my scandinavian thanksgiving, where my uncle was trying to shovel gin down cheung's throat, and giffy was giggling the entire time. i know they will do well, but i wonder about robert and nicole, and how they will like it - they are the cutest swedish kids i've ever seen, and i can only hope that they are happy. i'm their english will be stellar moving to china (they currently go to an international school), and i'm sure that learnig manderin will be quite to their advantage when applying to schools. i wonder if i will become a global nomad like some of my family and friends - with friends all over the world, africa, europe, south america, i wonder where i will end up. where do i belong?
last night, to which i am recovering from, i went out with michelle, shawn (chellie's old friend who is living in phoenix), and kelly. it was quiet enjoyable, but i was quite the grumpy pants. styxx, portland's premiere and only gay club in town, was packed, but i felt out of place at ladies night, and just couldn't get into the music. it was hard - it brought back memories from high school, living from 16 onward in a gay bar, having a plethora of gay men friends who would take me out, and try to find me girlfriends, etc. they were good times, but in a way, i feel as though i've moved on, and thought a great deal of my queer identity since then - looking back, i recognize that i never felt i "fit in" to a number of groups in the lesbian/dyke communities, and it's even harder for me to feel apart of it now. i wonder what this all means, and i'm not certain how it translates to my genderqueer identity. what is certainly the most frustrating is being read as a lesbian - i hate it. i love getting mister'ed and sir'ed everywhere i go, and it's reassuring that i'm not viewed as a queer woman, but as someone gender different. oy. i'm just getting so frustrated. it's not a matter of masculinity, but a matter of blending the lines along the spectrum that really concerns me. i did some thinking after seeing logo's presentation of gender rebel on netflix, and i wonder, what should i do? along with many other existentialist questions that i'm currently posing, i'm wondering what i'm supposed to be doing.
g-dodd is coming to visit me this weekend, and i will be cat sitting all of next week. i am so stoked, there are no words. i hope that this will be a refreshing, breeze that i've been waiting for the past month.
in summary, i could really use some direction. i was told yesterday, that i will do great things - the question is what? direct me, please.
i got work a week or two ago that my swedish aunt will be moving her family from helsingborg, sweden to shanghai, china for her husband's work. i'm sure she will be fine, but i really hope that they keep the house that they own on the north sea - it's a gorgeous view, great location, and has some great memories for me when i was in denmark - particularily my scandinavian thanksgiving, where my uncle was trying to shovel gin down cheung's throat, and giffy was giggling the entire time. i know they will do well, but i wonder about robert and nicole, and how they will like it - they are the cutest swedish kids i've ever seen, and i can only hope that they are happy. i'm their english will be stellar moving to china (they currently go to an international school), and i'm sure that learnig manderin will be quite to their advantage when applying to schools. i wonder if i will become a global nomad like some of my family and friends - with friends all over the world, africa, europe, south america, i wonder where i will end up. where do i belong?
last night, to which i am recovering from, i went out with michelle, shawn (chellie's old friend who is living in phoenix), and kelly. it was quiet enjoyable, but i was quite the grumpy pants. styxx, portland's premiere and only gay club in town, was packed, but i felt out of place at ladies night, and just couldn't get into the music. it was hard - it brought back memories from high school, living from 16 onward in a gay bar, having a plethora of gay men friends who would take me out, and try to find me girlfriends, etc. they were good times, but in a way, i feel as though i've moved on, and thought a great deal of my queer identity since then - looking back, i recognize that i never felt i "fit in" to a number of groups in the lesbian/dyke communities, and it's even harder for me to feel apart of it now. i wonder what this all means, and i'm not certain how it translates to my genderqueer identity. what is certainly the most frustrating is being read as a lesbian - i hate it. i love getting mister'ed and sir'ed everywhere i go, and it's reassuring that i'm not viewed as a queer woman, but as someone gender different. oy. i'm just getting so frustrated. it's not a matter of masculinity, but a matter of blending the lines along the spectrum that really concerns me. i did some thinking after seeing logo's presentation of gender rebel on netflix, and i wonder, what should i do? along with many other existentialist questions that i'm currently posing, i'm wondering what i'm supposed to be doing.
g-dodd is coming to visit me this weekend, and i will be cat sitting all of next week. i am so stoked, there are no words. i hope that this will be a refreshing, breeze that i've been waiting for the past month.
in summary, i could really use some direction. i was told yesterday, that i will do great things - the question is what? direct me, please.