(no subject)

[rigalettogirl05]

well, for some reason...which i am blaming entirely on birth control pills...i fell extrememly insecure in my relationship all of the sudden. like as if he's tired of me, or maybe he wishes things were different between us. i don't know, but i'm having some major trust issues as well. this is the first time, in every relationship i've been in, that i have actually wanted things to work out..in a big way. i really want that. but something tells me it's all about to fall apart. it's just a gut feeling, but usually mine are right. now lately they haven't been, but that's because a certain SOMEONE is so har to READ!!!! but...meh what are you ging to do. i just pray that i'm wrong anf that things are all good. i really really really do. and the thing is...this is a big deal for me...a huge deal for me. and things have been going well for me lately which hasn't been the case for a couple of years now. and i want things to keep going well. i'm in love. and that's not something you can just stop feeling...or anylize to make sure that it is love....you can't sit there and think "do i really know what love is?", because once you start thinking about what love is, you make it seem cheap. and i don't really know where this rant is going...but, i know that i'm happy and i don't want that to end. so i'll send this message out into the cosmic void...and pray for an answer that could sooth my insecurity, and my worry. and my not really knowing how i feel at all. which is confusing, but i hope i'll know soon.

and i know nobody reads this, but if you do, and you have ever felt like i do right now...know that i understand. and i'm here.