My Heart Still Beats Your Name...
Title: My heart still beats your name
Rating: Let's say...I dunno. PG-13?
Characters: Rose Tyler, The Doctor, Captain Jack Harkness
Word Count:2398
Summery: Pre-Rift. Rose remembers some of her time Pre-Void.
Notes: Rose revealed more of her weird relationship with Jack and the Doctor. Her world is becoming more and more AU the more I learn about her. So I guess if you're not comfortable with hints of a very strange relationship then pass this by. Also Rose's Jack is SO different from the Jack we have in BTR. You have been warned!
Disclaimer: Rose, Jack, and the Doctor are property of the BBC. I do not own any of them, though one seemingly sort of owns me. Go figure. I make none profit, so do not sue!
There is a young, blonde woman walking the streets of London. Her hair is up, her makeup is smoky, giving her face a seductive look. Her stiletto heels click on the ground, and when she stops at the corner waiting for the light to change, her legs look miles long and they almost glow in the light from the moon and the streetlights. Her tiny black skirt clings to her curves tightly, and her black wrap around top shows off more of her body then it hides. The leather jacket is left open in the biting chill because the girl can’t even feel the cold anymore.
Rose is on her way to the KatHouse. The pain was worse then normal and Rose needed a chance to get away, to live a waking dream. To remember without hurting.
When she gets to the bar, the bouncer lets her though without the cover charge or waiting in line. As she passes him with a smile and wave, he turns to holler into the club.
“Bad Wolf in the house, you lot!”
Rose’s lips warp into a mocker of the smile she used to have. Kat, the owner, greets her at the bar with a double shot of whiskey and an open bottle of Smirnoff Twisted Raspberry as a chaser.
“Hey pup.”
“Hey kit.”
That is generally all that they ever say to one another, and Rose willingly grabs the shot. Slamming it back in a go, she grabs the open bottle and takes a few long pulls to cut through the bite of the hard taste.
Smiling at Kat she heads towards the DJ’s booth. People make way for her, offering to buy her a drink, waving, smiling, their faces blurs to Rose. She doesn’t know them. The Bad Wolf does.
When the DJ, Kevin, sees her, he waves her up to the empty cage. It’s left open for her, because everyone learned its better if you don’t touch the little ghost, that she lives up to her name if you give her a reason. No one likes to be bitten by a lone wolf.
Once she reaches the cage, she sheds her jacket and puts her bottle down in the little locker out side the box and locks it, before stepping into the giant metal contraption, swinging the door shut.
“Hey all you kids,” Kevin’s voice booms, “we got the Bad Wolf in the house. We’re gonna welcome her with CASCADA’s version of ‘What Hurts The Most’ so if you wanna see a real treat, turn your eyes to the cage on your right.”
Rose knows this song by heart and even though it starts out slow, her body is already writhing. As the base picks up a heavy beat The Bad Wolf becomes Rose, and Rose gets lost in her memories.
****
They were running. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she was panting, her lungs burning as it tried to supply her body with the oxygen needed. Her foot slipped on something and down she fell. Before she had a chance to cry out there was a hand on her left arm grabbing, an arm around her waist pulling as Jack and the Doctor hauled her to her feet. Her hands in theirs and they were running again.
She could hear the yelling behind them, and she chanced a glance over her shoulder. Her eyes widened in terror as she took in the guns.
“Doctor! They’ve got guns!”
“Yes, Rose, I know! Keep running!”
So she ran. Her feet were thudding against the ground almost in perfect harmony with her pounding heart. And then there was pain.
She didn’t hear herself scream, but Jack and the Doctor did. And the Doctor knew that they drugged their weapons, he‘d told her that as a bit of trivia.
“Jack! Grab her!”
And Rose was swept up into strong arms, and deposited on Jack’s back. She feebly wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and he hooked his arms under her knees, running again.
The Doctor was at her back, she could feel his hand. Her world went black.
She woke up in the med bay to the gentle brush of air against her arm. She opened her eyes and took stock. Jack was on her left, clinging to her hand, head resting on the table while he slept. The Doctor was clinging to her hand on the other side, and his eyes were closed with his head on the table but Rose would bet her life he wasn’t asleep. And she would have been right. His eyes opened and sought her face immediately.
“Hey Doctor…”
“Rose! You’re alright!”
She had to smile at him. He was so sweet when he worried about her.
Jack sat bolt upright.
“Doc…Rose! You’re okay!” And before she had the chance to respond, she was caught up in his hug. In fact, both of them were hugging her. She rested a hand at the back of each of their heads. Her boys worried too much, if you asked her.
“I’m fine…Really.”
It was Jack who pulled away first, shortly followed by the Doctor.
It was also Jack who leaned in and kissed her first. He reached up to grab her face and he kissed her, tears on his cheeks. Rose was shocked to say the least. When he pulled away, the Doctor took his place and her heart stopped.
When he finally pulled away, she was panting, her face flushed and her eyes bright. Totally at a loss for words, she reached up to lay two fingers against her lips, as if she was trying to feel the kisses all over again.
Her face was confused and when she got her voice back, it was tiny.
“But…wh…what?”
The Doctor answered for the both of them, his hearts in his eyes, “We almost lost you,” he admitted, “and it scared us. You saved us both, Rose Tyler. You, and we almost lost you. Your heart stopped, and to think that it would never beat again made me face things I had tried to ignore, including how much you mean to me.”
When Jack started to speak, it took her a moment to switch her gaze over to him.
“The Doc may have made me a better man, but you saved me. I think everything I had done, what I almost did would have killed me if you weren’t there with all that room in your heart for a con like me. You don’t judge, Rose, you just accept and you love. And I needed the love.”
She couldn’t think of anything to say to them. She just reached out her hands to them and they fell into her embrace. As she held them to her small body, she thought about these two men, thoughts flooding her mind.
Sitting in her nightshirt in the console room, listening to the Doctor tell her stories as he tinkered with something. Dancing with Jack when she was feeling lonely. How the three of them would curl up on the giant bed in Rose’s room to watch a movie when something had hurt her and she needed to feel better. Walking into her room to see the two boys waiting for her. Cuddling up between them to sleep. Waking up to them both being there.
She loved them. With all her heart. Some days her chest ached, like her heart had to grow to make room for all the love she felt for them, and her body couldn’t hold her heart anymore.
But she also knew she’d never say the words out loud. You learn, traveling with the Doctor.
“I’m right here…I’ll always be here.”
That was the start of the most beautiful time in Rose’s life.
****
Rose came back to herself in the club and almost cried. Instead she gestured to Kevin to put on another song. While the music changed, she lost herself in the new beat as quickly as she could.
****
Jack had been gone for almost 3 months now and Rose had finally stopped crying herself to sleep in the New Doctor’s arms over it. She would spend so long in his arms, tracing her finger over the tattoo Jack had given her, marking her as his, or at least partly his. His voice floated back to her over the miles.
“C’mon Rose, you’re the first girl to ever get me to settle down, and the Doctor won’t ever let me mark him. Besides, I promise it won’t be horrible.”
“Jack…”
“Please Rosie?”
“Fine!”
The Doctor held her hand as Jack carefully went to work. She had to admit, there was something very satisfying about knowing that his mark would always be on her. That no matter what happened, she could never forget. When she saw what he had done, all she could do was kiss him. Her hands tangled in his hair and she kissed him so hard and so passionately that the Doctor felt the need to break it up so he didn’t feel so left out.
The Doctor had tattooed her that night as well, and Rose loved to go topless around the TARDIS so she could see the marks, so the they knew she was proud to be marked by her boys. It meant that sometimes they didn’t always promptly go to a new adventure, but she couldn’t complain.
She loved spending the hours in his arms. She loved the way he would pull her to curl up on his chest, she loved listening to his double heart beat until she fell asleep. She loved waking up to him, even if he was tickling her face with her own hair.
The Doctor had stopped them somewhere, he’d had to grab something he’d told her and so she let him go alone. She was sprawled on the bed, resting a hand over Jack’s tattoo. She thought more about the cheerful, flirty man and cried.
“Happy Valentine’s Day Rose!”
“What? Is it really?”
The Doctor had laughed at her, as had Jack. Jack explained he kept track of all the important holidays from Earth since the night they’d first been together. She blushed and looked at the myriads of roses filling her room. There were roses from Earth in red, pink, orange, white, and even a pale lavender. There were roses from other worlds in every color of the rainbow. There was a ruby rose necklace. There were chocolates. She tackled them both and showered them with kisses. They didn’t leave the TARDIS for a few hours.
“Rosie! C’mere. I’ve got something you’re gonna love!” It had been a crown of gemlike flowers with the center piece being a beautiful rose.
“You’re beautiful…Shh. Don’t argue with me Rose. You’re beautiful and I’m glad that it’s you that shares me with the Doctor.” She had cried. That was as close to telling her he loved her Jack had ever gotten.
“Jack! Come here!”
Jack bounded through the TARDIS, stopping dead in his tracks in the door way. His lips had wound into one of his more sensual smiles. Striding across to her, he had picked her up, the layers of shimmering translucent fabric spilling across his arms. Holding her to his chest, he had kissed her.
“Rose Tyler, you’re a beautiful enough vision to save any man’s soul.” They had dressed her up for a costume ball the Doctor wanted to take them to. Her silver shimmering dress now hung in the closet and she wouldn’t hear of wearing it. But she couldn’t stand parting with it.
She was shaken from her memories by the Doctor coming into her room. Their room. His fluffy hair was sticking up.
“Hullo Rose.”
“Hello Doctor.”
He strode across to the bed and climbed on it, not even bothering to kick off his trainers, to kiss her. His hands slid into her hair and he pressed another kiss to her forehead.
“Don’t cry, Rose, my beautiful Rose. You’ll break my hearts again and I don’t think you want to break in a new me.”
She giggled a little, damply.
“There now, there is my Rose Tyler.”
He wiped the tears off her cheek and rolled to the side, sitting up. He pulled her up as well and tucked her under his arm.
“Got you something. Well, really it’s a few somethings but…Well, not the point! Here you are, Rose Tyler! Something to cheer you up!”
He handed her a bag which she took.
Curiously, she dug inside and pulled out three boxes. The first held a dual picture frame with a shot he’d managed to get off the TARDIS of the three of them, and one of his new regeneration and Rose that Jackie had taken.
The second held a mask to go with her dress.
And the third held a tiara littered with miniature gem flowers.
She looked up at him, tears in her eyes and an unspoken question for him.
“You’ve been dreaming about Jack, you say his name in your sleep and its almost impossible for me to get you to let go at night. So. I’m going to take you to another costume party and we’re going to celebrate Jack. You’n’me, Rose and the Doctor.”
She nodded against his shoulder and he stroked her hair.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry you’re hurting.”
He kissed her then and even though he didn’t say the words, she heard his voice and Jack’s echoing it as they told her they loved her.
****
Rose came back to herself as she felt the tears burn her eyes. Exhausted from the emotional purging, she left the cage to go get drunk and go home so she could cry herself to sleep alone. Her mum would ask after her in the morning, and Mickey and Jake would pretend not to watch her, Pete would give her work to keep her busy and Lily would find her way into Rose’s arms by some plan of her family.
Rose Tyler was one part of three, and without her other parts she wasn’t even sure it was worth being real. So tonight she’d drink herself to oblivion and the bouncer, John, would bring her back to her house like he always did for her and that would be that.
But at least she didn’t hurt anymore, she was just empty.
Rating: Let's say...I dunno. PG-13?
Characters: Rose Tyler, The Doctor, Captain Jack Harkness
Word Count:2398
Summery: Pre-Rift. Rose remembers some of her time Pre-Void.
Notes: Rose revealed more of her weird relationship with Jack and the Doctor. Her world is becoming more and more AU the more I learn about her. So I guess if you're not comfortable with hints of a very strange relationship then pass this by. Also Rose's Jack is SO different from the Jack we have in BTR. You have been warned!
Disclaimer: Rose, Jack, and the Doctor are property of the BBC. I do not own any of them, though one seemingly sort of owns me. Go figure. I make none profit, so do not sue!
There is a young, blonde woman walking the streets of London. Her hair is up, her makeup is smoky, giving her face a seductive look. Her stiletto heels click on the ground, and when she stops at the corner waiting for the light to change, her legs look miles long and they almost glow in the light from the moon and the streetlights. Her tiny black skirt clings to her curves tightly, and her black wrap around top shows off more of her body then it hides. The leather jacket is left open in the biting chill because the girl can’t even feel the cold anymore.
Rose is on her way to the KatHouse. The pain was worse then normal and Rose needed a chance to get away, to live a waking dream. To remember without hurting.
When she gets to the bar, the bouncer lets her though without the cover charge or waiting in line. As she passes him with a smile and wave, he turns to holler into the club.
“Bad Wolf in the house, you lot!”
Rose’s lips warp into a mocker of the smile she used to have. Kat, the owner, greets her at the bar with a double shot of whiskey and an open bottle of Smirnoff Twisted Raspberry as a chaser.
“Hey pup.”
“Hey kit.”
That is generally all that they ever say to one another, and Rose willingly grabs the shot. Slamming it back in a go, she grabs the open bottle and takes a few long pulls to cut through the bite of the hard taste.
Smiling at Kat she heads towards the DJ’s booth. People make way for her, offering to buy her a drink, waving, smiling, their faces blurs to Rose. She doesn’t know them. The Bad Wolf does.
When the DJ, Kevin, sees her, he waves her up to the empty cage. It’s left open for her, because everyone learned its better if you don’t touch the little ghost, that she lives up to her name if you give her a reason. No one likes to be bitten by a lone wolf.
Once she reaches the cage, she sheds her jacket and puts her bottle down in the little locker out side the box and locks it, before stepping into the giant metal contraption, swinging the door shut.
“Hey all you kids,” Kevin’s voice booms, “we got the Bad Wolf in the house. We’re gonna welcome her with CASCADA’s version of ‘What Hurts The Most’ so if you wanna see a real treat, turn your eyes to the cage on your right.”
Rose knows this song by heart and even though it starts out slow, her body is already writhing. As the base picks up a heavy beat The Bad Wolf becomes Rose, and Rose gets lost in her memories.
****
They were running. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she was panting, her lungs burning as it tried to supply her body with the oxygen needed. Her foot slipped on something and down she fell. Before she had a chance to cry out there was a hand on her left arm grabbing, an arm around her waist pulling as Jack and the Doctor hauled her to her feet. Her hands in theirs and they were running again.
She could hear the yelling behind them, and she chanced a glance over her shoulder. Her eyes widened in terror as she took in the guns.
“Doctor! They’ve got guns!”
“Yes, Rose, I know! Keep running!”
So she ran. Her feet were thudding against the ground almost in perfect harmony with her pounding heart. And then there was pain.
She didn’t hear herself scream, but Jack and the Doctor did. And the Doctor knew that they drugged their weapons, he‘d told her that as a bit of trivia.
“Jack! Grab her!”
And Rose was swept up into strong arms, and deposited on Jack’s back. She feebly wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and he hooked his arms under her knees, running again.
The Doctor was at her back, she could feel his hand. Her world went black.
She woke up in the med bay to the gentle brush of air against her arm. She opened her eyes and took stock. Jack was on her left, clinging to her hand, head resting on the table while he slept. The Doctor was clinging to her hand on the other side, and his eyes were closed with his head on the table but Rose would bet her life he wasn’t asleep. And she would have been right. His eyes opened and sought her face immediately.
“Hey Doctor…”
“Rose! You’re alright!”
She had to smile at him. He was so sweet when he worried about her.
Jack sat bolt upright.
“Doc…Rose! You’re okay!” And before she had the chance to respond, she was caught up in his hug. In fact, both of them were hugging her. She rested a hand at the back of each of their heads. Her boys worried too much, if you asked her.
“I’m fine…Really.”
It was Jack who pulled away first, shortly followed by the Doctor.
It was also Jack who leaned in and kissed her first. He reached up to grab her face and he kissed her, tears on his cheeks. Rose was shocked to say the least. When he pulled away, the Doctor took his place and her heart stopped.
When he finally pulled away, she was panting, her face flushed and her eyes bright. Totally at a loss for words, she reached up to lay two fingers against her lips, as if she was trying to feel the kisses all over again.
Her face was confused and when she got her voice back, it was tiny.
“But…wh…what?”
The Doctor answered for the both of them, his hearts in his eyes, “We almost lost you,” he admitted, “and it scared us. You saved us both, Rose Tyler. You, and we almost lost you. Your heart stopped, and to think that it would never beat again made me face things I had tried to ignore, including how much you mean to me.”
When Jack started to speak, it took her a moment to switch her gaze over to him.
“The Doc may have made me a better man, but you saved me. I think everything I had done, what I almost did would have killed me if you weren’t there with all that room in your heart for a con like me. You don’t judge, Rose, you just accept and you love. And I needed the love.”
She couldn’t think of anything to say to them. She just reached out her hands to them and they fell into her embrace. As she held them to her small body, she thought about these two men, thoughts flooding her mind.
Sitting in her nightshirt in the console room, listening to the Doctor tell her stories as he tinkered with something. Dancing with Jack when she was feeling lonely. How the three of them would curl up on the giant bed in Rose’s room to watch a movie when something had hurt her and she needed to feel better. Walking into her room to see the two boys waiting for her. Cuddling up between them to sleep. Waking up to them both being there.
She loved them. With all her heart. Some days her chest ached, like her heart had to grow to make room for all the love she felt for them, and her body couldn’t hold her heart anymore.
But she also knew she’d never say the words out loud. You learn, traveling with the Doctor.
“I’m right here…I’ll always be here.”
That was the start of the most beautiful time in Rose’s life.
****
Rose came back to herself in the club and almost cried. Instead she gestured to Kevin to put on another song. While the music changed, she lost herself in the new beat as quickly as she could.
****
Jack had been gone for almost 3 months now and Rose had finally stopped crying herself to sleep in the New Doctor’s arms over it. She would spend so long in his arms, tracing her finger over the tattoo Jack had given her, marking her as his, or at least partly his. His voice floated back to her over the miles.
“C’mon Rose, you’re the first girl to ever get me to settle down, and the Doctor won’t ever let me mark him. Besides, I promise it won’t be horrible.”
“Jack…”
“Please Rosie?”
“Fine!”
The Doctor held her hand as Jack carefully went to work. She had to admit, there was something very satisfying about knowing that his mark would always be on her. That no matter what happened, she could never forget. When she saw what he had done, all she could do was kiss him. Her hands tangled in his hair and she kissed him so hard and so passionately that the Doctor felt the need to break it up so he didn’t feel so left out.
The Doctor had tattooed her that night as well, and Rose loved to go topless around the TARDIS so she could see the marks, so the they knew she was proud to be marked by her boys. It meant that sometimes they didn’t always promptly go to a new adventure, but she couldn’t complain.
She loved spending the hours in his arms. She loved the way he would pull her to curl up on his chest, she loved listening to his double heart beat until she fell asleep. She loved waking up to him, even if he was tickling her face with her own hair.
The Doctor had stopped them somewhere, he’d had to grab something he’d told her and so she let him go alone. She was sprawled on the bed, resting a hand over Jack’s tattoo. She thought more about the cheerful, flirty man and cried.
“Happy Valentine’s Day Rose!”
“What? Is it really?”
The Doctor had laughed at her, as had Jack. Jack explained he kept track of all the important holidays from Earth since the night they’d first been together. She blushed and looked at the myriads of roses filling her room. There were roses from Earth in red, pink, orange, white, and even a pale lavender. There were roses from other worlds in every color of the rainbow. There was a ruby rose necklace. There were chocolates. She tackled them both and showered them with kisses. They didn’t leave the TARDIS for a few hours.
“Rosie! C’mere. I’ve got something you’re gonna love!” It had been a crown of gemlike flowers with the center piece being a beautiful rose.
“You’re beautiful…Shh. Don’t argue with me Rose. You’re beautiful and I’m glad that it’s you that shares me with the Doctor.” She had cried. That was as close to telling her he loved her Jack had ever gotten.
“Jack! Come here!”
Jack bounded through the TARDIS, stopping dead in his tracks in the door way. His lips had wound into one of his more sensual smiles. Striding across to her, he had picked her up, the layers of shimmering translucent fabric spilling across his arms. Holding her to his chest, he had kissed her.
“Rose Tyler, you’re a beautiful enough vision to save any man’s soul.” They had dressed her up for a costume ball the Doctor wanted to take them to. Her silver shimmering dress now hung in the closet and she wouldn’t hear of wearing it. But she couldn’t stand parting with it.
She was shaken from her memories by the Doctor coming into her room. Their room. His fluffy hair was sticking up.
“Hullo Rose.”
“Hello Doctor.”
He strode across to the bed and climbed on it, not even bothering to kick off his trainers, to kiss her. His hands slid into her hair and he pressed another kiss to her forehead.
“Don’t cry, Rose, my beautiful Rose. You’ll break my hearts again and I don’t think you want to break in a new me.”
She giggled a little, damply.
“There now, there is my Rose Tyler.”
He wiped the tears off her cheek and rolled to the side, sitting up. He pulled her up as well and tucked her under his arm.
“Got you something. Well, really it’s a few somethings but…Well, not the point! Here you are, Rose Tyler! Something to cheer you up!”
He handed her a bag which she took.
Curiously, she dug inside and pulled out three boxes. The first held a dual picture frame with a shot he’d managed to get off the TARDIS of the three of them, and one of his new regeneration and Rose that Jackie had taken.
The second held a mask to go with her dress.
And the third held a tiara littered with miniature gem flowers.
She looked up at him, tears in her eyes and an unspoken question for him.
“You’ve been dreaming about Jack, you say his name in your sleep and its almost impossible for me to get you to let go at night. So. I’m going to take you to another costume party and we’re going to celebrate Jack. You’n’me, Rose and the Doctor.”
She nodded against his shoulder and he stroked her hair.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry you’re hurting.”
He kissed her then and even though he didn’t say the words, she heard his voice and Jack’s echoing it as they told her they loved her.
****
Rose came back to herself as she felt the tears burn her eyes. Exhausted from the emotional purging, she left the cage to go get drunk and go home so she could cry herself to sleep alone. Her mum would ask after her in the morning, and Mickey and Jake would pretend not to watch her, Pete would give her work to keep her busy and Lily would find her way into Rose’s arms by some plan of her family.
Rose Tyler was one part of three, and without her other parts she wasn’t even sure it was worth being real. So tonight she’d drink herself to oblivion and the bouncer, John, would bring her back to her house like he always did for her and that would be that.
But at least she didn’t hurt anymore, she was just empty.