(no subject)
i think i may believe in signs and such....
after a night last night of feeling kinda down...
i had watched selected portions of aladdin, and looked at pictures, and tried to smile...
i go out tonight.
and of course...we drive past the accident site...we drive past the cemetery where she's buried.
pete doesn't realize any of this, and i feel bad saying "can you take a different route home?" after we grab dinner...because i didn't want to drive by the crash site...so, he inadvertantly drives by the cemetery..
bah.
and i start thinking....all in one day? what...?
and i remember, i said to toni (who happens to be some sort of pagan)
"is there any way i can talk to her? any way i can get some kind of closure? know she's okay? find out what happened?"
and i think i got those signs...all those things pointing to her today...
what are they saying?
i'm not sure...
probably something along the lines of "please be happy. make sure everyone else is happy too. do that for me...headless chicken all the way dude!"
heh.
and while i was sad driving past it at first...i realized, i think it was a good thing. i needed that. it was a reminder as well as a small bit of closure.
i don't know if we'll ever know what happened...
i really don't know.
but....(damn now i need something smart sounding to end this...)
screw it, i have nothing philosophical at the moment.
nitwit blubber oddment tweak.
i did that from memory, too.
basically just this...
i think someone was trying to get a message across to me today.
and it did actually work.
after a night last night of feeling kinda down...
i had watched selected portions of aladdin, and looked at pictures, and tried to smile...
i go out tonight.
and of course...we drive past the accident site...we drive past the cemetery where she's buried.
pete doesn't realize any of this, and i feel bad saying "can you take a different route home?" after we grab dinner...because i didn't want to drive by the crash site...so, he inadvertantly drives by the cemetery..
bah.
and i start thinking....all in one day? what...?
and i remember, i said to toni (who happens to be some sort of pagan)
"is there any way i can talk to her? any way i can get some kind of closure? know she's okay? find out what happened?"
and i think i got those signs...all those things pointing to her today...
what are they saying?
i'm not sure...
probably something along the lines of "please be happy. make sure everyone else is happy too. do that for me...headless chicken all the way dude!"
heh.
and while i was sad driving past it at first...i realized, i think it was a good thing. i needed that. it was a reminder as well as a small bit of closure.
i don't know if we'll ever know what happened...
i really don't know.
but....(damn now i need something smart sounding to end this...)
screw it, i have nothing philosophical at the moment.
nitwit blubber oddment tweak.
i did that from memory, too.
basically just this...
i think someone was trying to get a message across to me today.
and it did actually work.