Thoughts on Iris
My last post caused me to think on the song Iris and what it has meant in my life. As a teen I felt misunderstood. Most of my peers at school thought me odd or weird, I didn't have many friends and I felt that most people just did not understand me. I hid more often than not. But all I really wanted was for someone to understand me, someone to be
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One thing school taught me was that I was odd, I was not quite like the other kids and I really didn't want to be. But I also realized that to have friends and to get people to hang out with me I had to hide much of my weirdness, unless the person could handle it. At first I hated it, I often would fight against it, rage against the masks that I found myself wearing. My teen years were often filled with times where I mourned of anyone ever understanding me. I wrote things in my journal, much like I do now, and wished my parents would read it so that they would understand. I wrote poetry that explained how I felt and thought. Eventually as I became an adult I grew to accept the fact that most people would not understand me and that masks were ok as long as I found someplace to be myself. I think my husband helped in this.
Out of everyone who I have met in my life I think my husband understands me the best, and that helps me to be able to be myself when I am around him, without fear that he will judge me for it.
What I do find interesting is when friends of mine meet. Especially if those friends have seen very different masks from me. Sometimes I wonder if they notice the change in me.
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