Dec 06, 2009 23:09
this weekend i helped my best friend jensar celebrate her 22nd birthday. (i hope you had a good one btw)
anyway, its kinda a personal achievement for me because its pretty much the first time since (probably october) that i took the energy to go out and do something.
i've been feeling so uninspired lately.
i dont want to waste the energy to do anything.
to the point that my morning runs have become nothing but a distant memory.
so to all those people that are thinking, 'where have you been' let me tell you where- not celebrating. call me selfish, but i just dont want to go out and party when i feel like i have nothing to go out and party about. i know not everything is about me. but in my world, why the hell shouldn't it?
in short, this whole job hunting thing is really getting the best of me and every rejection email saying thank you BUT this position has been filled/no longer available makes me want to just curl into a ball and cry. i know there are people out there that are more qualified, losing their jobs, more in need of money to support their families- but i don't care about them. i care about ME because...i desperately need out, and before i can up and move to another city, i need some source of funds to support myself.
im just not ready to go back to school. just not yet.