(no subject)
As time goes by, i think the importance of self-love becomes more and more important, more so for a (might be a slightly older?) single person like me. It is a very easy thing to slip into a cycle work and frustration that ends up in self loathing.
Maybe it was not as apparent when it was in my studying years when everyone was around, and there are lots to do, things to experience.. As youths, we tend to do things in a group and experience things with no fear and/or remorse. I never could say i'm a fun person to be with. I'm more of a bookish person and nerdy for the most part. But thinking about it, I could say, I did things during my university days that I can conclude that I didn't really squandered it all in books and exams. If we wanted to do stuff, we just did it. But as things goes, those experiences become less and less as people (and myself) got serious with work and I suppose, their own families.
I've now come to a point where sometimes I want to do something, but is struggling to find anyone to do it with. It's not really that the activity is bad or even tough to do, just that my friends aren't that interested or don't have the time for it anymore. I mean priorities change for people as do mine.. So syncing up time has been difficult, and finding kindred spirits with the same interests have also been far from easy. I don't blame them, it's just how things are, unfortunately.
I find that my priorities nowadays is not to focus on work or my family all the time as I have been doing. I want to focus on me and what I want to do. That sounds a bit selfish somehow when it is out there in the open, but unfortunately, I think this is what I need for myself. Something that I do for me and I can feel proud of. Something I want to take interest in.
Or else, I feel I could be lost in a downward spiral, and going down a rough road personally and mentally.
Not really an upbeat post for the new year. But it's one of those times, when you take stock of things and admit to yourself the hard truth. You have to get yourself going and decide what's best for you. That's the only way to go.