single again
last night my now ex-girlfriend and I had a talk that did not go well at all...it started out with a simple question, was she happy being with me? b/c we had been out with some friends two days prior and I was getting some bad vibes...turns out I was right...of course she said she was happy with me, (which later on showed that was a big lie) and I went on to explain that it didn't feel that way. Main problem, as everyone already knows my parents do not support the idea of their only daughter being gay. So she and I have had to hide all this, and it's taking its toll on her apparently. If we do get caught, I'm the one that will suffer the main consequences, she doesn't want to deal with being hurt again. All throughout the conversation I knew where it was going, even though she wouldn't fully say it. She kept going on about how I'll get over it and meet someone better, and she's not a good girlfriend, ok none of that helps. I've heard the same thing over and over and it has no affect on me anymore. I'm a very very emotional person, and having to deal with this now is just tearing me up inside. I cried for maybe...3 hours last night. She kept saying she didn't know if she wanted to stay with me and was wondering if it would just be better if we were friends. So I got the hint and just said, fine it's over. I'd rather get it done and over with now than have to wait and hope she'll make the decision. I'm sick of waiting, I'm sick of hearing "oh it will get better, you'll meet someone else", i'm just sick of being hurt! Breaking up with her was the last thing I ever wanted to do! But I obviously had no choice, she would have just grown distant and shut herself out. of course this doesn't solve anything, there's still the risk, and I'll still get my ass beat if mom and dad find out we are seeing each other, friends or more it doesn't matter to them...what a way to start the new year, 2008. It hasn't even been a month and already things are falling apart. nothing I can do about it except sit around and get over it...way easier said than done.