Poetry from last night
Just a disclaimer:
this is how all of this came out of me it is very rough and unedited. if you have any suggestions or comments they are welcome. also these were written around 4 in the morning. oh and i'm really bad with titles so there really aren't any.
~1~
Sitting in the dark
Dreaming of the past
A past that wont come again
Wounds that are not close to being fully healed
I ponder what could have been
If I had been patient
But I can’t
I will not let myself dream
Its over
Its permanent
There can be no other way
The good is laid over with a pall
Did he ever really care after those first eleven months?
I can’t do that either
That’s not fair to us
To me
To my memory
Of what we were
I want to feel his skin under my hands
I want to mean something
I can’t
I won’t let myself dream
My life’s a mess right now
But I can see the brightness of tomorrow
I will be okay
~2~
Why did I find this now?
When everything is such a mess
When I can’t be fair about it
I have to let it go
Wishes can’t fix this
All the shooting stars in the sky will not save me
I am lost
I am lost in him
I can’t help it
Its too soon
What can I do but let go
Let go…
~3~
If I could see you would I be okay?
If I could hold you in my arms again would you heal me?
I don’t think so
I think you’re better off without me in your life
Would I still be lost if I were in your arms?
Would I still hurt of you touched me?
I think I would
I think I’m better of without you in my life
~4~
Why even bother anymore,
With the love songs and pretty poetry?
Why believe in love,
When it has slipped from your fingers
Like smoke in the breeze?
How can you be a hopeless romantic,
And not believe in love anymore?
~5~
Other people’s words bouncing around in my head
(I want my own)
Other people’s ideas being forced upon me
(I want my own)
Other people telling me what’s best for me
(I know myself)
Other people’s opinions on what I should do
(I have my own)
Other people making me feel guilt for my actions
(I don’t need you)
I AM MY OWN PERSON!
I know myself better than you
I know what I want
I know what I need
I have my own words
I have my own ideas
(I don’t need you)
~6~
What is the point of trying?
My heart is a black hole
I ruin everything I touch
I killed it
The pieces lie shattered on the floor
Don’t cut your feet
My heart’s down there where you’re walking
~7~
Maybe if I scream at the stars my wish will come true…
The night will listen if no one else will…
The moon turns a sympathetic ear…
He will listen to the agony of my voice and not flinch away…
Like razors over glass a voice cries out in pain
No one wants to find her because the grating is horrifying
The wails and shrieks pierce the night
How can there be so much pain heard through silence
~8~
In the silence of the night
He watches
His prey
Silent
Moving swiftly
Pounce
A quick death
A heart is lost
~9~
The barrel stares her down
From the other end of the table
It would be so much easier
The freedom from pain would be instant
The pain of others would be too much
She turns away from the one eyed stare
The door slams shut.
~10~ (the best one of the 4 a.m.s, i think)
The waves crash upon the beach,
Wiping away the message in the sand.
It wasn’t meant to be written in the first place
It had said, “Forever”
He looks at her
“We’re dreaming”
Her hopes get wiped out with the wave
“I know”
How could two kids ever believe in forever?
A whispered “I love you” that isn’t returned,
Is carried away on the wind,
Never to be heard again.
Footprints that came together separate, forever.
The only forever they knew.
~11~
The pieces of the puzzle are falling out of place
The path that I was walking has faded into the forest
I am set adrift, floating in a sea of the unknown
The perfect life that I was going to lead is lost now
It wasn’t so perfect though
I felt the ending breathing softly at my neck
Whispering the discontent that we both felt
He wasn’t the right one for me
My heart knew
Life has thrown me this curve ball
But it wasn’t unexpected
No one knew the soft feeling of wrongness in my mind
I was fully alone with my thoughts
I should have never tried to make it permanent
Engraving what was never there
~12~(not really a poem, not really a story)
She looks into his green eyes as he walks in the door. They don’t brighten at the sight of her anymore. They are flat, dead, unfeeling.
“You don’t love me anymore, I can see it in your eyes.” She whispers.
“Its not my fault. I don’t know what I want anymore.” He replies.
“Again…” she mutters. For this moment has happened twice before. Those words have been burned into her mind. “I don’t know what I want anymore” echos through her thoughts day and night. She wonders if there was something she did or some way to change it…
He watches sadly as the light and hope fade from her eyes. The blue eyes that used to inspire him to sing, do nothing for him now. She was the one that always believed in him. the one that always stood up for him. yet he could only repay her with an empty stare.
“There’s nothing left. There’s no hope for us.”
She stands on tiptoe one last time. Their soft lips touch, a familiar warmth steals over her and leave abruptly. Something breaks.
Tears spill down her cheeks as she slams the door. A crash that she feels in her heart as she runs away from him, away from them. While he stares on dispassionately.
there will be more to come hopefully but these are most of my musings from last night
this is how all of this came out of me it is very rough and unedited. if you have any suggestions or comments they are welcome. also these were written around 4 in the morning. oh and i'm really bad with titles so there really aren't any.
~1~
Sitting in the dark
Dreaming of the past
A past that wont come again
Wounds that are not close to being fully healed
I ponder what could have been
If I had been patient
But I can’t
I will not let myself dream
Its over
Its permanent
There can be no other way
The good is laid over with a pall
Did he ever really care after those first eleven months?
I can’t do that either
That’s not fair to us
To me
To my memory
Of what we were
I want to feel his skin under my hands
I want to mean something
I can’t
I won’t let myself dream
My life’s a mess right now
But I can see the brightness of tomorrow
I will be okay
~2~
Why did I find this now?
When everything is such a mess
When I can’t be fair about it
I have to let it go
Wishes can’t fix this
All the shooting stars in the sky will not save me
I am lost
I am lost in him
I can’t help it
Its too soon
What can I do but let go
Let go…
~3~
If I could see you would I be okay?
If I could hold you in my arms again would you heal me?
I don’t think so
I think you’re better off without me in your life
Would I still be lost if I were in your arms?
Would I still hurt of you touched me?
I think I would
I think I’m better of without you in my life
~4~
Why even bother anymore,
With the love songs and pretty poetry?
Why believe in love,
When it has slipped from your fingers
Like smoke in the breeze?
How can you be a hopeless romantic,
And not believe in love anymore?
~5~
Other people’s words bouncing around in my head
(I want my own)
Other people’s ideas being forced upon me
(I want my own)
Other people telling me what’s best for me
(I know myself)
Other people’s opinions on what I should do
(I have my own)
Other people making me feel guilt for my actions
(I don’t need you)
I AM MY OWN PERSON!
I know myself better than you
I know what I want
I know what I need
I have my own words
I have my own ideas
(I don’t need you)
~6~
What is the point of trying?
My heart is a black hole
I ruin everything I touch
I killed it
The pieces lie shattered on the floor
Don’t cut your feet
My heart’s down there where you’re walking
~7~
Maybe if I scream at the stars my wish will come true…
The night will listen if no one else will…
The moon turns a sympathetic ear…
He will listen to the agony of my voice and not flinch away…
Like razors over glass a voice cries out in pain
No one wants to find her because the grating is horrifying
The wails and shrieks pierce the night
How can there be so much pain heard through silence
~8~
In the silence of the night
He watches
His prey
Silent
Moving swiftly
Pounce
A quick death
A heart is lost
~9~
The barrel stares her down
From the other end of the table
It would be so much easier
The freedom from pain would be instant
The pain of others would be too much
She turns away from the one eyed stare
The door slams shut.
~10~ (the best one of the 4 a.m.s, i think)
The waves crash upon the beach,
Wiping away the message in the sand.
It wasn’t meant to be written in the first place
It had said, “Forever”
He looks at her
“We’re dreaming”
Her hopes get wiped out with the wave
“I know”
How could two kids ever believe in forever?
A whispered “I love you” that isn’t returned,
Is carried away on the wind,
Never to be heard again.
Footprints that came together separate, forever.
The only forever they knew.
~11~
The pieces of the puzzle are falling out of place
The path that I was walking has faded into the forest
I am set adrift, floating in a sea of the unknown
The perfect life that I was going to lead is lost now
It wasn’t so perfect though
I felt the ending breathing softly at my neck
Whispering the discontent that we both felt
He wasn’t the right one for me
My heart knew
Life has thrown me this curve ball
But it wasn’t unexpected
No one knew the soft feeling of wrongness in my mind
I was fully alone with my thoughts
I should have never tried to make it permanent
Engraving what was never there
~12~(not really a poem, not really a story)
She looks into his green eyes as he walks in the door. They don’t brighten at the sight of her anymore. They are flat, dead, unfeeling.
“You don’t love me anymore, I can see it in your eyes.” She whispers.
“Its not my fault. I don’t know what I want anymore.” He replies.
“Again…” she mutters. For this moment has happened twice before. Those words have been burned into her mind. “I don’t know what I want anymore” echos through her thoughts day and night. She wonders if there was something she did or some way to change it…
He watches sadly as the light and hope fade from her eyes. The blue eyes that used to inspire him to sing, do nothing for him now. She was the one that always believed in him. the one that always stood up for him. yet he could only repay her with an empty stare.
“There’s nothing left. There’s no hope for us.”
She stands on tiptoe one last time. Their soft lips touch, a familiar warmth steals over her and leave abruptly. Something breaks.
Tears spill down her cheeks as she slams the door. A crash that she feels in her heart as she runs away from him, away from them. While he stares on dispassionately.
there will be more to come hopefully but these are most of my musings from last night