still
I made this journal when my heart was cold to the world. I armored it so that it would not feel again. I locked it up and it struggled but one day it stopped opening. It gave up, I guess.
Well it finally opened up again. Very hesitantly. Very slowly. Not trusting you or me. I had to force it open with a struggle like the years I forced it closed, but it opened and I was awed at the feeling.
It had been a long time since I felt hope. And my heart felt it because of you. You gave me the energy, the willingness to let my heart be afraid. And I love you.
So what I saw last night actually hurt. And every fibre of this broken heart told me to turn away and let you go. So I told you that I had decided not to waste anymore feelings on you and that I was letting you go. The lies piled up to me seeing you with him last night and I told myself, and you, that I could never be with you again.
But that's not true. I would take you back in a heartbeat. And realizing that makes me weep.
Well it finally opened up again. Very hesitantly. Very slowly. Not trusting you or me. I had to force it open with a struggle like the years I forced it closed, but it opened and I was awed at the feeling.
It had been a long time since I felt hope. And my heart felt it because of you. You gave me the energy, the willingness to let my heart be afraid. And I love you.
So what I saw last night actually hurt. And every fibre of this broken heart told me to turn away and let you go. So I told you that I had decided not to waste anymore feelings on you and that I was letting you go. The lies piled up to me seeing you with him last night and I told myself, and you, that I could never be with you again.
But that's not true. I would take you back in a heartbeat. And realizing that makes me weep.