(no subject)
my head still hurts
ok
emily lutts has been some how affecting my life on and off for the past two and a half years.
all threw high school I had never really ever talked to emily, I didnt know her very well and we didnt seem to have any thing at all in commen. therefor we didnt talk.
basicly justine and I had decided to be each others marching parteners freshman year. this decesion was solid. untill the day we had togather in the gym for marching pratice. thats when justine found a new marching partner.
emily had also had a marching partner up untill the day she need one. then just as mine had done emilys partner switched some stuff up.
emily and I were put togeather to march. basicly because there was no one else left for us to march with. after talking for about 30 seconds I realized that we were very much so the same person. every thing I liked she liked and every thing she liked I liked. also we both drove volkswagens.
for a two week period we spent 2 hours a day togeather at marching pratice. it was great.
at the time I was dating chrissy, odly enough and completely out of charrater for me, I think I would have broken up with chrissy for emily.
chrissy was controling at times and jelous so I didnt really see emily after marching pratice. we kept in touch via phone. and on one or two occasions hung out. I talked to her on and off threw that year. breaking up with chrissy in september of 2004 and dating sarah some time in febuary of 2005. while dating sarah I didnt talk very much to emily. maybe 3 or 4 times durring that 9 or so months. sarah broke up with me in september.
I had started talkeing to emily again in august.
we talked once or twice and as soon as sarah and I broke up we talked a lot more.
when we would talk it was tipicaly for several hours. I always enjoyed it.
in november I went to nyc to see her. I lasted 3 days, I pissed her off she sent me home.
6 months later on may 26, 2006 she called me. to say happy birthday. she had remembered my birhtday. It took me almost 5 months to get her out of my head. and she was out of my head at this point. I hadnt thought of her in at least a month.
then bam back in my head.
we start talking again. our conversation starts as it had when we first met. just like we had known each other our whole life. 6 months of not talking and its like we hadnt missed 5 minutes.
it was great to talk to her.
she came up from nyc almost every weekend the whole summer. I got every weekend off. I hung out with her every second I was able to, I had an awesome time. we became closer.
the last time we hung out. we watched a movie on the couch in her parrents house in york. and layed there with each other. we talked for 5 or so hours before going to bed. that was the first and last time I had ever layed with her.
I spent the entire summer being to chicken to make a move. and when I finaly asked her to lay down with me on the couch, she said sure like we had done it every other weekend that summer. we were a little aquard, but I was terriffied I was going to fuck up and so excited I thought I would piss my self.
the next day she went back to nyc.
we talked perridoicly, acctaully it was more like every other night.
one year had gone by and some how I was in the exact same spot. at the exact same time
after talking for about 3 weeks I decicded that it was time to put my cards on the table. I spilt my gutts.
3 days later she stopped talking to me.
once again one year had gone by and I was in the same perdiciment
I tryed to call her on the next 2 sundays.
I made no progress.
on the third sunday I sent her a text message basicly saying that I was sorry if I did something that offended her, and that I really missed talking to her.
she responded with "you did nothing wrong, I just dont find you intersting enough to talk to"
I honestly think that by me telling her what I thought and felt I pushed her in to a cornor. it was easyer for her to drop out of the race, then it was for her to tell me what she thought.
I dont get it
I wish it would work it self out or just end
I have a funny reason that if it does "end" like clock work I will be here typing the same story in 12 months
also I work for her dad now, a couple days a week, he knows just how I feel, he loves talking about emily. but he also likes me and i belive that he thinks I am very suited to date his daughter. he enjoys pointing out her favorite houses and then saying "write that down in your little book". every time I do anything that emily also does he points that out and the next five minutes of conversation are focused on how alike we are.
still she wont talk to me
ok
emily lutts has been some how affecting my life on and off for the past two and a half years.
all threw high school I had never really ever talked to emily, I didnt know her very well and we didnt seem to have any thing at all in commen. therefor we didnt talk.
basicly justine and I had decided to be each others marching parteners freshman year. this decesion was solid. untill the day we had togather in the gym for marching pratice. thats when justine found a new marching partner.
emily had also had a marching partner up untill the day she need one. then just as mine had done emilys partner switched some stuff up.
emily and I were put togeather to march. basicly because there was no one else left for us to march with. after talking for about 30 seconds I realized that we were very much so the same person. every thing I liked she liked and every thing she liked I liked. also we both drove volkswagens.
for a two week period we spent 2 hours a day togeather at marching pratice. it was great.
at the time I was dating chrissy, odly enough and completely out of charrater for me, I think I would have broken up with chrissy for emily.
chrissy was controling at times and jelous so I didnt really see emily after marching pratice. we kept in touch via phone. and on one or two occasions hung out. I talked to her on and off threw that year. breaking up with chrissy in september of 2004 and dating sarah some time in febuary of 2005. while dating sarah I didnt talk very much to emily. maybe 3 or 4 times durring that 9 or so months. sarah broke up with me in september.
I had started talkeing to emily again in august.
we talked once or twice and as soon as sarah and I broke up we talked a lot more.
when we would talk it was tipicaly for several hours. I always enjoyed it.
in november I went to nyc to see her. I lasted 3 days, I pissed her off she sent me home.
6 months later on may 26, 2006 she called me. to say happy birthday. she had remembered my birhtday. It took me almost 5 months to get her out of my head. and she was out of my head at this point. I hadnt thought of her in at least a month.
then bam back in my head.
we start talking again. our conversation starts as it had when we first met. just like we had known each other our whole life. 6 months of not talking and its like we hadnt missed 5 minutes.
it was great to talk to her.
she came up from nyc almost every weekend the whole summer. I got every weekend off. I hung out with her every second I was able to, I had an awesome time. we became closer.
the last time we hung out. we watched a movie on the couch in her parrents house in york. and layed there with each other. we talked for 5 or so hours before going to bed. that was the first and last time I had ever layed with her.
I spent the entire summer being to chicken to make a move. and when I finaly asked her to lay down with me on the couch, she said sure like we had done it every other weekend that summer. we were a little aquard, but I was terriffied I was going to fuck up and so excited I thought I would piss my self.
the next day she went back to nyc.
we talked perridoicly, acctaully it was more like every other night.
one year had gone by and some how I was in the exact same spot. at the exact same time
after talking for about 3 weeks I decicded that it was time to put my cards on the table. I spilt my gutts.
3 days later she stopped talking to me.
once again one year had gone by and I was in the same perdiciment
I tryed to call her on the next 2 sundays.
I made no progress.
on the third sunday I sent her a text message basicly saying that I was sorry if I did something that offended her, and that I really missed talking to her.
she responded with "you did nothing wrong, I just dont find you intersting enough to talk to"
I honestly think that by me telling her what I thought and felt I pushed her in to a cornor. it was easyer for her to drop out of the race, then it was for her to tell me what she thought.
I dont get it
I wish it would work it self out or just end
I have a funny reason that if it does "end" like clock work I will be here typing the same story in 12 months
also I work for her dad now, a couple days a week, he knows just how I feel, he loves talking about emily. but he also likes me and i belive that he thinks I am very suited to date his daughter. he enjoys pointing out her favorite houses and then saying "write that down in your little book". every time I do anything that emily also does he points that out and the next five minutes of conversation are focused on how alike we are.
still she wont talk to me