Dear Lord.

[ride_a_board]

I received the saddest phone call of my lifetime today.

I hung up the phone, and cried.
Talking about it made it worse, more tears.
Sitting hear now, I feel sick to my stomach.

The person on the other end sounded so sick, so weak.
A wave of shock washed over me.
Never, did I expect this.
Never, did I count on this.

Now sitting here, I am wondering if I have judged too harshly, been too critical, not loved enough and not been thankful enough.
To all of these things, I have done...
But not to extremes.
But nonetheless,
I have done.

I think the hardest thing for me to comprehend is God's ultimate plan for this situation. What if this is God's plan?

Some day, when I stand before the Lord, I'd like to ask him questions...
for now I'll pray.

and maybe in a few years, this will all make sense...