(no subject)
"It feels like the light will never reach me here,
I am choking back my longing for shed tears"
Yeah this is soo fucked up. Haylee knows what im talking about. God damn it why the hell do i always fall for it. Well this time im not. I know he doesnt care about me anymore. He wouldn't have been able to see other people while we were broken up. (and still are) I was wallowing in my own pain of not having him for myself anymore. Thinking that i caused him so much hurt that he had to do those things. MAking me feel like total fucking shit. But no he did it again. Makes u wonder... god fucking A nothing has been right latley. Everythings falling apart. I WANT TO FREAKING SCREAM! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hate life right now. i hate everything. I hate school,i hate family, I FUCKING HATE MYSELF! Why isnt anything going at all right. I got into a fight with 2 of my friends today. And one of them cared sooo much about me. GOD DAMN IT. Words cant explain how shitty and AHH bad i feel. I wish all of this would be destroyed. Things like this that make me think about going back to"...." <----andrew knows what i mean. Bu tno cause i have too much respect for that. My selfesteem level is soooooooooooo fuckin low. Yeah ok if you want you can read this and think oh her life isnt really that bad. Well you know what...take a fucking trip into my mind! Live my god damn fucked up laife and then you can come out with your own opinion. SEE THINGS IN MY LIFE FROM MY EYES! FUCK YOU if you think that this isnt that bad. I cant fucking talk to anybody cause haylees always buissy and others dont know as much as her so they dont know what im talking about. Maybe ill just break down tomorrow to her at lunch or something. I HATE CRYING!
Im lost in this.