So it seems i fail at everything...
I mean i can't even have a good fucking time while i'm shrooming balls. All in all the camping trip was a fucking blast man. But the entire time i was there i still couldn't take my mind off of Sara. She's all i think about yet i don't want to date her again cause i know i'm just going to fuck up like i always fucking do. I broke up with her and wasn't even fucking sure if i didn't like her anymore. It was just one night where it just felt off so i felt like giving up right there and then. I didn't even fucking try to get my feelings back for her. I know i could have, i know i could have made things all better and if i did right now i wouldn't be so fucking depressed. I'd have a smile on my face thinking how perfectly content with life i am. But now i got to be a freaking dumb ass.
I know that i'm not going to find another person for awhile so i get to be depressed as shit until i do. But this time i'm a whole lot more depressed than i am when Amber broke up with me. I don't even know why i am. I guess i liked Sara a whole lot more than her. Actually i don't guess i fucking know. I was in love with that chick. Yeah it sounds dumb as fuck that i actually thought i was in love with a 15 year girl. But she made me so fucking happy. Even though i didn't show it that much everytime i was in a bad mood she would cheer me up even if it was just some small amount at least i would be a little happier.
Towards the end i keep thinking i should find someone else like it would be easy as pie but i forgot i'm fucking retarded when it comes to meeting new chicks let alone realizing that they might like me in some small way. Its ridiculous how fucking dumb i am about this shit. I mean i could simply just not think about her and occupy myself with other shit but i decided to lay on my bed and reminisce about what used to be. Thats why i'm so god damned depressed. I spend every minute of everyday thinking about how happy i used to be and fail to realize that i have a really good life. I just decided not to except it cause all i want is sex. I know thats usually what all guys want but i'm fucking confusing myself i think i want a relationship then it turns out that i just want some nooky. I'm a fucking loser man. I really have never been this bummed out as i have been today.
I just wish some how i could be happy again.
Thats it for now i'm sure i'll be back soon.
I know that i'm not going to find another person for awhile so i get to be depressed as shit until i do. But this time i'm a whole lot more depressed than i am when Amber broke up with me. I don't even know why i am. I guess i liked Sara a whole lot more than her. Actually i don't guess i fucking know. I was in love with that chick. Yeah it sounds dumb as fuck that i actually thought i was in love with a 15 year girl. But she made me so fucking happy. Even though i didn't show it that much everytime i was in a bad mood she would cheer me up even if it was just some small amount at least i would be a little happier.
Towards the end i keep thinking i should find someone else like it would be easy as pie but i forgot i'm fucking retarded when it comes to meeting new chicks let alone realizing that they might like me in some small way. Its ridiculous how fucking dumb i am about this shit. I mean i could simply just not think about her and occupy myself with other shit but i decided to lay on my bed and reminisce about what used to be. Thats why i'm so god damned depressed. I spend every minute of everyday thinking about how happy i used to be and fail to realize that i have a really good life. I just decided not to except it cause all i want is sex. I know thats usually what all guys want but i'm fucking confusing myself i think i want a relationship then it turns out that i just want some nooky. I'm a fucking loser man. I really have never been this bummed out as i have been today.
I just wish some how i could be happy again.
Thats it for now i'm sure i'll be back soon.