I just really wanted to remember this message I wrote
Well somewhere between negotiation and signing the lease for our spot our main investor decided to pull out. Not because the idea wasn't great or the plan was faulty but because they could not come up with the cash as they thought, so.... so yeah it's been disheartening bordering on depressing lately but not really getting to depressing cause well I’m Manny and throughout the course of my life I've conditioned myself to be more headstrong than that or at least I like to think of myself as that I’m pretty sure you'd know all about that so forgive me for seeming distant lately. Man, yo I saw/see this business venture as an opportunity to grow; mentally, socially, spiritually, in relationships, as a man in general just by the responsibility running a business entails I saw the oncoming experience and trial & error that would accompany it as a learning experience and something to build on, I don't think I ever in my life had anything stable or permanent to build on not because I think I'm unfortunate or anything like that, I value my blessings in life as cheesy as that sounds and yes I do see the love and trust of my mother, brothers as something to build on but it's natural to grow out of that incubator and do and create for self, so what I was referring to was opportunities, I make the most out of every opportunity I have, and yes like any logical person (I could be reaching with this opinion here, lol) I do see it as my responsibility to create my own opportunity however and wherever I can if I want success in life, so yeah my legal situation has always limited my opportunities in life substantially, whether it has been in preventing me from joining certain school clubs as a kid that traveled to government offices all over the country when I wanted to be a politician as a little dude, to when I knew I couldn't apply for a university cause my parents couldn't afford it and I knew I couldn't ever qualify for financial aid, to when I tried getting a job as a stubborn unwilling to accept reality teenager, to now as a man where I can't even drive (legally) or go out with the fellas and have a good time at certain spots, or missing my best friends wedding, to wondering what I’m actually going to do in the coming months after I graduate since I can’t really transfer to a University, yeah I’m not really cool with telling a sob story since I’ll never have it as bad as other people in this world so I’ll stop now since I’m sure you got the point, If I even had one to begin with.
*brain fart*
Oh right so things continually feel like they're meant to fall apart and have no stability cause of all that shit that’s been going on in my life lately, which could be the way things are meant to be I don't know, I'm young I'll probably learn otherwise when I’m older or something. So yeah in spite of the fragility(in my opinion) of things I know that I personally have been working on becoming someone who is strong in every aspect of life, that’s just for my piece of mind, for some reason I’ve never felt right not living like I’m working for a purpose and lately I’ve been wondering why every time I feel like I’m on the verge of discovering what it is “things fall apart” (amazing album by The Roots, btw) Anyways G I’m at a point in life where I feel like what I do from now on is going to determine my course in life, and don’t ask why I always have to compartmentalize what I say into statements that seem way too serious, I just do that, Its just who I am and I hope you just get that about me without losing sight that I’d prefer to smile and kid around more than anything most of the time and that’s probably a side that you rarely see of me, life’s boring if you take it too serious, kaamean but life in it’s self is real so henceforth requires seriousness, call me Socrates how’s that for philosophy. Anyways let me wrap this up since I seem to be going on and on, and on, lol alright so you told me once I don’t really let you that much in on my life well here’s what’s been up in la vida de Manny, We’ve sold our house about 3 times already but the people we’ve sold it to didn’t meet management’s standards for residency in this shit hole cause of their credit, legal status, or whatever reason so just when I think life was heading to a point of moving on it stays stagnant, so my Mom and Franky who’s plan is to work for my sake so I don’t drop out, doing what I don’t know, how or where? when he currently has warrants and a criminal record want to get an apartment and build from there, and straight up my mom doesn’t really trust Angel’s plan so she really doesn’t want to invest her time or money in it all because the dude’s never really came through on any of the plans he’s ever made, which to his detriment have been like over 100 different ones over the course of the past 5 yrs and that has been because his credit has been trashed, the hospital sold his debt to credit companies and they divided it into like 1,000 different accounts for like the amount of 1,000 dollars a piece so when it comes down to the dude getting a decent job or place to live he gets discriminated on cause his financial records indicate something that mirrors criminal activity or just irresponsibility still it amazes me how the dude maintains in spite of that. So Angel is pretty broken up cause moms don’t trust him, and my Mom and Franky never let me in the plans they’ve been working on which, so I feel alienated more so than I usually feel in the realm of family which hurts me and distracts from doing my everyday shit in regards to concentrating with school, so shit’s at a breaking point, I don’t know where things are headed, everyone seems to be walking on shells here and it feels like something’s gonna give way and it’s not going to be pretty, which I know I’m capable of handling just threw my faith, but mentally the peeps around me aren’t really as stable as me, so that’s the sparknotes version of what’s been up, what’s been up in your neighborhood, Mr. Rogers been around?, seen any beautiful days?
*brain fart*
Oh right so things continually feel like they're meant to fall apart and have no stability cause of all that shit that’s been going on in my life lately, which could be the way things are meant to be I don't know, I'm young I'll probably learn otherwise when I’m older or something. So yeah in spite of the fragility(in my opinion) of things I know that I personally have been working on becoming someone who is strong in every aspect of life, that’s just for my piece of mind, for some reason I’ve never felt right not living like I’m working for a purpose and lately I’ve been wondering why every time I feel like I’m on the verge of discovering what it is “things fall apart” (amazing album by The Roots, btw) Anyways G I’m at a point in life where I feel like what I do from now on is going to determine my course in life, and don’t ask why I always have to compartmentalize what I say into statements that seem way too serious, I just do that, Its just who I am and I hope you just get that about me without losing sight that I’d prefer to smile and kid around more than anything most of the time and that’s probably a side that you rarely see of me, life’s boring if you take it too serious, kaamean but life in it’s self is real so henceforth requires seriousness, call me Socrates how’s that for philosophy. Anyways let me wrap this up since I seem to be going on and on, and on, lol alright so you told me once I don’t really let you that much in on my life well here’s what’s been up in la vida de Manny, We’ve sold our house about 3 times already but the people we’ve sold it to didn’t meet management’s standards for residency in this shit hole cause of their credit, legal status, or whatever reason so just when I think life was heading to a point of moving on it stays stagnant, so my Mom and Franky who’s plan is to work for my sake so I don’t drop out, doing what I don’t know, how or where? when he currently has warrants and a criminal record want to get an apartment and build from there, and straight up my mom doesn’t really trust Angel’s plan so she really doesn’t want to invest her time or money in it all because the dude’s never really came through on any of the plans he’s ever made, which to his detriment have been like over 100 different ones over the course of the past 5 yrs and that has been because his credit has been trashed, the hospital sold his debt to credit companies and they divided it into like 1,000 different accounts for like the amount of 1,000 dollars a piece so when it comes down to the dude getting a decent job or place to live he gets discriminated on cause his financial records indicate something that mirrors criminal activity or just irresponsibility still it amazes me how the dude maintains in spite of that. So Angel is pretty broken up cause moms don’t trust him, and my Mom and Franky never let me in the plans they’ve been working on which, so I feel alienated more so than I usually feel in the realm of family which hurts me and distracts from doing my everyday shit in regards to concentrating with school, so shit’s at a breaking point, I don’t know where things are headed, everyone seems to be walking on shells here and it feels like something’s gonna give way and it’s not going to be pretty, which I know I’m capable of handling just threw my faith, but mentally the peeps around me aren’t really as stable as me, so that’s the sparknotes version of what’s been up, what’s been up in your neighborhood, Mr. Rogers been around?, seen any beautiful days?