that essay kicked me in the face

[ricosuave013]

my god! AP english nearly drove me to the brink of insanity last night, but did manage to make me feel sick again. i sat down to start the essay at just around 4 o'clock yesterday, so i reread the story and what not. then i realized something. i have no idea what this lady wants the essay on. then i realize something else, i have no idea what she wants from my writing. so i was freakin out for a while, from like 9 to the time i went to sleep. i went to bed at around 1, only to wake up 3 hours later to write that god forsakened paper on "shooting an elephant". so here i am feeling like crap, and i've been up since 4 in the morning finishing the paper. i've decided to be more proactive in my school career, rather than reactive like i've been all these years, and i also realize that i need more vacations or trips to the beach. i wish anatomy and ap english weren't 1st and 2nd hour but more like 2nd and 4th. I see my self burning out really quickly if i cant get myself together. i was considering dropping the class, but thats just too soft, and it'd mean i'm even more of a failure than i thought. i really hope that she likes the way i wrote this paper because i poured so much into it. another crap score would kill me.
What's funny is that i didnt go to school today, but it wasnt because of the essay.