SATuuuuuRDAY
8:55 a.m. - I get a phonecall from vince, "Dude lets go fishing, I found this awesome amp on the side of the road, fuck im mental, can you come pick me up?"
9:00 a.m. - I call work to let them know we are now (after deciding not to a week before) coming on the company fishing trip, but we are running late. I Throw on some clothes and speed across town to find Vince.
9:15 a.m. - I get a phonecall from my boss, "where the fuck are you guys, you had to be here at 9." I say we are about 5 mins away from work and run a red light. Vince says "fuck mann, im fuckin mental."
9:20 a.m. - we arive at work to find they have left without us. my boss rings again "What the fuck are you guys doing? you have to come down to Westhaven marina, you guys are going to get fucking lost.. do you know where the swashbucklers tavern is?" I reply, westhaven as at the end of the north western motorway aint it? my boss replys.. "What? why the fuck would you go on the north western, when its down the fuckin bottom of fuckin town." Oh, i say, we will see you soon?
9:35 a.m - We arive in the marina area, after breaking half a dozen traffic laws and get stuck behind some cunt with a boat on a trailer, Who apparently doesnt know how to drive, especially with a fucking trailer! after about five mins and 20 meters of the slowest driving ever! i over take the bastard and find the swashbucklers tavern.. my phone rings again- "What car are you guys in you've just........" my phone runs out of batteries. FUCK! i ask Vince if he has Stus number. He replys "nah man, im fucking mental".
9:45 a.m. - We decide to backtrack and finally find my angry looking boss standing in the middle of the carpark, shakeing his head at us. I look over at vince who is smiling, giving a thumbs up. I take off to find a park, my boss yells "OI!" we stop, he gets in the car and says "you gonna make me fucking walk back aswell?".
9:55 a.m. - we finally are on the boat, Vince has announced that he is "mental" to everyone. Now that was out of the way, it was time to drink.
10:10 a.m. - Now in the middle of the harbour, Vince asks "so, how pissed off at me are you rite now?". I explain the very much so depends on his next few words, and advise him to choose them wisely. he just explains "im fucking mental, you know whats weird? Tardigrades." i say nothing and do away with my beer pacing theory.
10:45 a.m - we have now stopped just past the lighthouse off Rangitoto island and drop the lines. within 2mins I had tangled my line beyond use and someone else had already caught the first and only keepable fish of the day.
11:00 a.m - By this stage i have gotten my fishing line untangled and have landed my first "big one" 200mm in lenth, a poor parot fish that prolapsed as soon as i touched it. I set him free.
12:01 p.m - we stop for lunch, vince explains exactly why it is he's so "mental", much to do with his diet of the past 24hrs, that consisted of 30 or so beers, a tab of acid, and an ecstacy.
1:00 p.m - a few more beers, a few more racist remarks, off to another fishing spot.
2:30 p.m - I advise vince that its about time to Roll a joint, we sit inside as not to be bothered by the wind. I sit with my back facing the door and vince keeps a lookout, incase our Boss comes down from upstairs. I start to roll the biggest 2 skin joint i possibly can, meanwhile Vince is making seagull noises, I just shrug it off as vince being mental again and continue. My boss walks in, and says "oh, are you guys daking up then." and continues about his business.
3:00 p.m. - I light the big joint up and pass it around my workmates, it get through about 3 people before it gets to vince who freaks out, because my boss comes down the stairs again. he tries to give it back to me going "here man take it!" and drops it down a crack in the deck. *a big sigh from everyone. Vince simply states that hes mental and that it was his pot anyway, and he has more.
3:30 p.m.- we have now smoked the backup joint i rolled from all the leftover pot that was on the table. By this stage we had caught oh, Fuckin nothing in the way of fish, we decide to head back for land.
4:15 p.m. - now back on shore, I have to persuade Vince to not go to the hourse and trap, and go home and get some sleep, as we are playing a show in less than 5hours. he eventually agrees and gets into the car with me.
4:45 p.m - we stop at the local takeaway shop, so i can force vince to eat some accual food, where he informs the asian lady behind the counter "Ill fucking kill you!" the lady looks on in terror as Vince giggles and says "im fuckin mental". I tell her hes only joking and ask her to please not spit in our food. we go to the dairy and vince says the some thing to the indian lady behind the counter. she just gives him a look, like shes going to fucking kill him. We get our food and head back to my house, where it dawns on me that poor asin lady must have thought vince was a crazy skinhead.
5:30 p.m - Vince and I make short work of the takeaways, I take him home and advise him to get some sleep. I get back home and Plug my dead phone in to find a 12 messages and 5 missed calls from morgan and the other bands we are playing with. I descover that we were ment to pack in and do sound check at 4, luckily morgan had taken care of the whole thing.
5:45 p.m. - Morgan arrives home and i finally get to sleep.....
8:05 p.m - I wake up with the most horrible headache and a sore stomach. i stand up and try to walk but the room is spinning, I take 3 steps and my vision moves from side to side. How the fuck does one get Sea sick when they get back to land! I Get ready to go out.
8:30 p.m. - Our guitarist arrives and we get the rest of our shit together, But where the fuck is Vince? I give him a call. "so ah Vince where the fuck are you we are all ready to go." he replies "Im ah at the doctors. ill be there though" my headache just got worse.
9:00 p.m. - we arive at the venue to find everything is set up, sound checks are well underway.Still no sign of Vince. I call him again he assures me hes on his way "im mental".
9:30 p.m. - im throwing up in the mens room, still suffering from sea legs, i try to down a few beers to make myself feel better. but i just vomit more.
10.30 p.m. - Bumchcukle play our 3rd public show.
10:45 p.m. - Bumchuckle realise that we arnt metal enough for this crowd, they hurl abuseive comments, we thow them rite back with more offencive music. Videos to come.
11:00 p.m. - we are off stage, Vince is hooking up with his old boss in a darkened corner of the bar. we stupidly leave him at the door with the stamp and money box. Morgan and i go home.
9:00 a.m. - I call work to let them know we are now (after deciding not to a week before) coming on the company fishing trip, but we are running late. I Throw on some clothes and speed across town to find Vince.
9:15 a.m. - I get a phonecall from my boss, "where the fuck are you guys, you had to be here at 9." I say we are about 5 mins away from work and run a red light. Vince says "fuck mann, im fuckin mental."
9:20 a.m. - we arive at work to find they have left without us. my boss rings again "What the fuck are you guys doing? you have to come down to Westhaven marina, you guys are going to get fucking lost.. do you know where the swashbucklers tavern is?" I reply, westhaven as at the end of the north western motorway aint it? my boss replys.. "What? why the fuck would you go on the north western, when its down the fuckin bottom of fuckin town." Oh, i say, we will see you soon?
9:35 a.m - We arive in the marina area, after breaking half a dozen traffic laws and get stuck behind some cunt with a boat on a trailer, Who apparently doesnt know how to drive, especially with a fucking trailer! after about five mins and 20 meters of the slowest driving ever! i over take the bastard and find the swashbucklers tavern.. my phone rings again- "What car are you guys in you've just........" my phone runs out of batteries. FUCK! i ask Vince if he has Stus number. He replys "nah man, im fucking mental".
9:45 a.m. - We decide to backtrack and finally find my angry looking boss standing in the middle of the carpark, shakeing his head at us. I look over at vince who is smiling, giving a thumbs up. I take off to find a park, my boss yells "OI!" we stop, he gets in the car and says "you gonna make me fucking walk back aswell?".
9:55 a.m. - we finally are on the boat, Vince has announced that he is "mental" to everyone. Now that was out of the way, it was time to drink.
10:10 a.m. - Now in the middle of the harbour, Vince asks "so, how pissed off at me are you rite now?". I explain the very much so depends on his next few words, and advise him to choose them wisely. he just explains "im fucking mental, you know whats weird? Tardigrades." i say nothing and do away with my beer pacing theory.
10:45 a.m - we have now stopped just past the lighthouse off Rangitoto island and drop the lines. within 2mins I had tangled my line beyond use and someone else had already caught the first and only keepable fish of the day.
11:00 a.m - By this stage i have gotten my fishing line untangled and have landed my first "big one" 200mm in lenth, a poor parot fish that prolapsed as soon as i touched it. I set him free.
12:01 p.m - we stop for lunch, vince explains exactly why it is he's so "mental", much to do with his diet of the past 24hrs, that consisted of 30 or so beers, a tab of acid, and an ecstacy.
1:00 p.m - a few more beers, a few more racist remarks, off to another fishing spot.
2:30 p.m - I advise vince that its about time to Roll a joint, we sit inside as not to be bothered by the wind. I sit with my back facing the door and vince keeps a lookout, incase our Boss comes down from upstairs. I start to roll the biggest 2 skin joint i possibly can, meanwhile Vince is making seagull noises, I just shrug it off as vince being mental again and continue. My boss walks in, and says "oh, are you guys daking up then." and continues about his business.
3:00 p.m. - I light the big joint up and pass it around my workmates, it get through about 3 people before it gets to vince who freaks out, because my boss comes down the stairs again. he tries to give it back to me going "here man take it!" and drops it down a crack in the deck. *a big sigh from everyone. Vince simply states that hes mental and that it was his pot anyway, and he has more.
3:30 p.m.- we have now smoked the backup joint i rolled from all the leftover pot that was on the table. By this stage we had caught oh, Fuckin nothing in the way of fish, we decide to head back for land.
4:15 p.m. - now back on shore, I have to persuade Vince to not go to the hourse and trap, and go home and get some sleep, as we are playing a show in less than 5hours. he eventually agrees and gets into the car with me.
4:45 p.m - we stop at the local takeaway shop, so i can force vince to eat some accual food, where he informs the asian lady behind the counter "Ill fucking kill you!" the lady looks on in terror as Vince giggles and says "im fuckin mental". I tell her hes only joking and ask her to please not spit in our food. we go to the dairy and vince says the some thing to the indian lady behind the counter. she just gives him a look, like shes going to fucking kill him. We get our food and head back to my house, where it dawns on me that poor asin lady must have thought vince was a crazy skinhead.
5:30 p.m - Vince and I make short work of the takeaways, I take him home and advise him to get some sleep. I get back home and Plug my dead phone in to find a 12 messages and 5 missed calls from morgan and the other bands we are playing with. I descover that we were ment to pack in and do sound check at 4, luckily morgan had taken care of the whole thing.
5:45 p.m. - Morgan arrives home and i finally get to sleep.....
8:05 p.m - I wake up with the most horrible headache and a sore stomach. i stand up and try to walk but the room is spinning, I take 3 steps and my vision moves from side to side. How the fuck does one get Sea sick when they get back to land! I Get ready to go out.
8:30 p.m. - Our guitarist arrives and we get the rest of our shit together, But where the fuck is Vince? I give him a call. "so ah Vince where the fuck are you we are all ready to go." he replies "Im ah at the doctors. ill be there though" my headache just got worse.
9:00 p.m. - we arive at the venue to find everything is set up, sound checks are well underway.Still no sign of Vince. I call him again he assures me hes on his way "im mental".
9:30 p.m. - im throwing up in the mens room, still suffering from sea legs, i try to down a few beers to make myself feel better. but i just vomit more.
10.30 p.m. - Bumchcukle play our 3rd public show.
10:45 p.m. - Bumchuckle realise that we arnt metal enough for this crowd, they hurl abuseive comments, we thow them rite back with more offencive music. Videos to come.
11:00 p.m. - we are off stage, Vince is hooking up with his old boss in a darkened corner of the bar. we stupidly leave him at the door with the stamp and money box. Morgan and i go home.