and I was gonna be Richie's good luck charm
I was gonna go to Columbia for a few months and work like a dog at 2 jobs. Save enough money to get some bills paid off and head to Oakland by Opening Day. Work at ARF or just anywhere and spend as much time as possible at the Coliseum.
The idea was to save for tech school (though I keep having dreams I end up in vet school, still) but to be honest CA wasn't really about school anymore. It was about someplace new and baseball and just doing something different, however temporarily.
Boss says to me yesterday morning "You can't leave. We have to renegotiate" over which I stress out all day long.
I talk to him on the phone lastnight and he says: "Do you have to leave? What can we do to bribe you to stay? Is money an issue? Would $12-13/hour make a difference?"
Incidentally, right now I make 8$ an hour.
He says that they're behind me going to school and all, but if I could stick around until then (and maybe after), it would really help them out. Followed by "I don't want to sound like I'm begging but ... I guess I am"
I mean, jesus.
This is all so complicated on so many levels. I can't tell you how much I wanted to try Oakland. The fact that I'm referring to that in the past tense right now is kinda scarey.
It's possible this is all heart vs head right now. Head is saying: That money would really help. Heart is saying: Remember how you cried when you had to leave Oakland? But there's also the guilt about leaving work mixed in.
I shouldn't be so distraught about this. I mean, it's a nice offer, right? Another option to have. But it's tearing me apart a little.
Anyway.