(no subject)
I haven't had the 'I've run out of petrol, can you spare five pounds?' con for a while, so it was like being reunited with an old friend when a middle aged black lady tried it on me the other day on Holloway Road. Unfortunately I think she got all confused with the more common 'I've locked myself out' con, as instead of asking for five pounds for petrol she asked for £3 for the tube fare home. Still, she got all the props right: car keys in one hand, dependent child by her side. No no, she made a good stab of it. It's just odd to think she was ready to abandon her car completely and walk 15 minutes to the nearest tube, when there's a petrol station three minute's walk from there.
Do people really hop in their car and go driving across London without any money on them? I never leave the house without my wallet. Also, do people really let the petrol gauge drift all the way to zero before thinking about getting more fuel? I mean, I know Darien and I once did - and had to walk twenty minutes along the motorway in the pouring rain - but we were probably drunk. Also, we did have money to buy more.
I'd like to see some really inventive cons. As Spim says, a good conman is at heart an artist, and even if the con is tranparent I'd be happy to sponsor them if they put enough oomph into their performance. Some suggestions for con artists planning on tricking me in the near future:
1. "My baby was stolen by an eagle, and she was using my purse as a rattle at the time. I need £15 to buy a ladder to climb up to the eyrie to get Baby Gladys and my money back". Props required: empty pram, startled expression, firm chin, possibly an eagle harpoon.
2. "I just slipped through a hole in reality from a different dimension, and only have money bearing the head of Lord Protector Oliver VII, which isn't legal currency under your monarchy. Can you lend me sixteen florins - or sterling equivalent - so I can take a zeppelin to Cardiff where I hear there is a spacetime rift?". Props required: map of Other London, asymmetric hairstyle, legal tender bearing the head of Lord Protector Oliver VII, moccasins.
3. "I'm the last living descendent of Christ, and I left my Holy Grail at the train station. Can you give me £3.50 so one of my disciples can go get it? I will give you immortality in return." Props required: proof of Merovingian bloodline, twelve disciples, halo.
4. "I stepped in dog shit and wiped it off with my last £50 note. Can you give me another to wipe the other shoe?" Props required: dog shit, which is freely available on the Holloway Road.
Do people really hop in their car and go driving across London without any money on them? I never leave the house without my wallet. Also, do people really let the petrol gauge drift all the way to zero before thinking about getting more fuel? I mean, I know Darien and I once did - and had to walk twenty minutes along the motorway in the pouring rain - but we were probably drunk. Also, we did have money to buy more.
I'd like to see some really inventive cons. As Spim says, a good conman is at heart an artist, and even if the con is tranparent I'd be happy to sponsor them if they put enough oomph into their performance. Some suggestions for con artists planning on tricking me in the near future:
1. "My baby was stolen by an eagle, and she was using my purse as a rattle at the time. I need £15 to buy a ladder to climb up to the eyrie to get Baby Gladys and my money back". Props required: empty pram, startled expression, firm chin, possibly an eagle harpoon.
2. "I just slipped through a hole in reality from a different dimension, and only have money bearing the head of Lord Protector Oliver VII, which isn't legal currency under your monarchy. Can you lend me sixteen florins - or sterling equivalent - so I can take a zeppelin to Cardiff where I hear there is a spacetime rift?". Props required: map of Other London, asymmetric hairstyle, legal tender bearing the head of Lord Protector Oliver VII, moccasins.
3. "I'm the last living descendent of Christ, and I left my Holy Grail at the train station. Can you give me £3.50 so one of my disciples can go get it? I will give you immortality in return." Props required: proof of Merovingian bloodline, twelve disciples, halo.
4. "I stepped in dog shit and wiped it off with my last £50 note. Can you give me another to wipe the other shoe?" Props required: dog shit, which is freely available on the Holloway Road.