Lao Tzu 242
I used to work at a bookstore. I never really talked about it, but I wound up reading a lot there. Not the standards of american literature so much as an exploration of divinely rich texts from around the world. Widely respected and highly regarded writers of all eras of our existence as the human race. In this time I read everything from a Saul Bellows novel about finding one's self in africa, to field guides about ecology, to texts about ancient martial arts. Throughout this time I know that I picked up so many things within this vast library of wisdom which I apply to life in ever day that I move through it. A conversation today, along with recent political events and my own personal battles with the frustration I have in my fellow man have reminded me of something I read in one of these books, something which profoundly struck me at the time, but which I am only now beginning to understand the rippling effects of in other parts of my greater understanding of this world and my evolving place within it.
The following is one translation of this section of Lao Tzu's "Tao Te Ching":
"The best rulers are scarcely known by their subjects;
The next best are loved and praised;
The next are feared;
The next despised:
They have no faith in their people,
And their people become unfaithful to them.
When the best rulers achieve their purpose
Their subjects claim the achievement as their own."
While this is plenty obvious when it comes to ruling a people, and while it's easy to draw a correspondence between how this is related in my mind to the current political climate, my correlation is not quite as obvious as it seems. My recent understanding comes not from the examination or the qualities of leadership, but rather from the processes of communication, and more specifically education. While these are wonderful insights for any decent leader to grasp, these same ideas can be applied to teachers of any kind.
For a more specific example, my friend and I recently discussed an argument he had with his partner over religious differences. To make a long story short, he is religious, while she is not. This would not be a problem however unfortunately she has not yet progressed to a level of understanding that in order to truly have an educated and wise opinion on the matter of anything as important and personal as religion, you first must be willing to respect another person's beliefs and what they mean on a personal, and cultural level.
My friend explained that his partner was repulsed by religion because it is, as she apparently and so ignorantly stated "is just a way to control the masses." Now of course any reasonably rational adult person would understand that this is ridiculous and while it is true that religion is often used as a device for control, it has much more significance than this simplistic judgement. Ironically my friend told me this person thinks of herself as a "free thinker". Unfortunately all too often I have seen this type of people. Don't get me wrong, I understand it, because I've been there, but I still find it ironic that someone can label themselves a "free thinker" and yet be unwilling to consider the possibility that religion may have more complexities than simply that of a brain washing technique. If your mind was truly free to think, then why would you not allow it to ponder the reasons why another person believes what they believe, and what cultural and spiritual relevance this may have to your own life. Doesn't really sound like a free thinker to me, but I am just a man trying to figure things out for myself as well. I do know this however: being afraid or unwilling to consider others beliefs because they happen to fall within the construct of an organized religion does not make you a free thinker. If you feel differently, I really believe it would be a huge evolutionary step for you to stop lying to yourself and examine what exactly you understand a free thinker to be. But this is completely off subject, so I apologize.
Ultimately my friend and I came to the idea of education with regards to interpersonal conversations we have. While it is true that one must be careful not to overestimate their own understanding of a subject, it is also true that often we have individual experiences which have produced pockets of wisdom which we can and desire to pass onto others, so that they might come to see our point of view and understand a subject as we do. Such was the case for my friend and his companion. But how do we effectively impart this wisdom?
Back to my original point, just as there are three types of rulers, there are three types of teachers, three ways in which we attempt to help someone else see enlightenment. And as with a ruler, the worst of these teachers, and the worst way in which to communicate is with fear, cruelty, confrontation. We've all been in an argument where the goal is to pound your opinion into another person with no regard for the other's views and ideas. And we all understand how seldom this works to bring about any real enlightenment. So just as it is the worst way to rule, confrontation and control is the worst way to communicate, and the worst way to teach.
The second way to rule, as we learn from Lao Tzu is to rule with love and generosity. True, the conversations we have in which we are overly polite and generous with conceding our points are often much more civil and pleasant, however most often these seem one sided, with little connection and again, little enlightenment. While respect for one's views and opinions is vital to a civil discussion, it cannot be observed at the expense of our own. This makes for a conversation which goes nowhere, and while there is more of an openness for higher understanding than within an argument, there is little opportunity, and generally nothing is accomplished save for a polite, and uninspired reinforcement of ideas which one already possesses.
And so it is best, as it is when ruling a country, to help someone find their own greater understanding of a subject. In communication, as cliche and campy as it may sound, it is true that how we listen is just as important as what we say. We all know that the lessons we learn from our own experiences, and our own epiphanies are much more effective than those which are forced upon us in the form of another's opinion. And so as an educator, whether in a classroom or with a friend over coffee, it's important to strive to be transparent. Knowing when to speak, when to listen, and how to guide someone to their own conclusions, so that they come to reach this understanding on their own. While this can be frustrating and requires the most patience and skill of the three techniques, it's hard to argue that it's not the most effective strategy.
And so I find myself approaching these types of conversations in this way with differing levels of success. But I find that I am able to impart more wisdom, have more fulfilling conversations, and come to find more of my own wisdom from others through this practice. And for this reason I fell as though this information is important to pass on, to anyone who may wish to think freely about it. It's these things which make me proud of how far I've come, excited for how far I have left to go, and grateful that I have the opportunity to speak with so many different people at so many different stages within this process. I look forward to having a similar conversation with you in the future. Until then, I send my love. Take care.
Love,
Michael
The following is one translation of this section of Lao Tzu's "Tao Te Ching":
"The best rulers are scarcely known by their subjects;
The next best are loved and praised;
The next are feared;
The next despised:
They have no faith in their people,
And their people become unfaithful to them.
When the best rulers achieve their purpose
Their subjects claim the achievement as their own."
While this is plenty obvious when it comes to ruling a people, and while it's easy to draw a correspondence between how this is related in my mind to the current political climate, my correlation is not quite as obvious as it seems. My recent understanding comes not from the examination or the qualities of leadership, but rather from the processes of communication, and more specifically education. While these are wonderful insights for any decent leader to grasp, these same ideas can be applied to teachers of any kind.
For a more specific example, my friend and I recently discussed an argument he had with his partner over religious differences. To make a long story short, he is religious, while she is not. This would not be a problem however unfortunately she has not yet progressed to a level of understanding that in order to truly have an educated and wise opinion on the matter of anything as important and personal as religion, you first must be willing to respect another person's beliefs and what they mean on a personal, and cultural level.
My friend explained that his partner was repulsed by religion because it is, as she apparently and so ignorantly stated "is just a way to control the masses." Now of course any reasonably rational adult person would understand that this is ridiculous and while it is true that religion is often used as a device for control, it has much more significance than this simplistic judgement. Ironically my friend told me this person thinks of herself as a "free thinker". Unfortunately all too often I have seen this type of people. Don't get me wrong, I understand it, because I've been there, but I still find it ironic that someone can label themselves a "free thinker" and yet be unwilling to consider the possibility that religion may have more complexities than simply that of a brain washing technique. If your mind was truly free to think, then why would you not allow it to ponder the reasons why another person believes what they believe, and what cultural and spiritual relevance this may have to your own life. Doesn't really sound like a free thinker to me, but I am just a man trying to figure things out for myself as well. I do know this however: being afraid or unwilling to consider others beliefs because they happen to fall within the construct of an organized religion does not make you a free thinker. If you feel differently, I really believe it would be a huge evolutionary step for you to stop lying to yourself and examine what exactly you understand a free thinker to be. But this is completely off subject, so I apologize.
Ultimately my friend and I came to the idea of education with regards to interpersonal conversations we have. While it is true that one must be careful not to overestimate their own understanding of a subject, it is also true that often we have individual experiences which have produced pockets of wisdom which we can and desire to pass onto others, so that they might come to see our point of view and understand a subject as we do. Such was the case for my friend and his companion. But how do we effectively impart this wisdom?
Back to my original point, just as there are three types of rulers, there are three types of teachers, three ways in which we attempt to help someone else see enlightenment. And as with a ruler, the worst of these teachers, and the worst way in which to communicate is with fear, cruelty, confrontation. We've all been in an argument where the goal is to pound your opinion into another person with no regard for the other's views and ideas. And we all understand how seldom this works to bring about any real enlightenment. So just as it is the worst way to rule, confrontation and control is the worst way to communicate, and the worst way to teach.
The second way to rule, as we learn from Lao Tzu is to rule with love and generosity. True, the conversations we have in which we are overly polite and generous with conceding our points are often much more civil and pleasant, however most often these seem one sided, with little connection and again, little enlightenment. While respect for one's views and opinions is vital to a civil discussion, it cannot be observed at the expense of our own. This makes for a conversation which goes nowhere, and while there is more of an openness for higher understanding than within an argument, there is little opportunity, and generally nothing is accomplished save for a polite, and uninspired reinforcement of ideas which one already possesses.
And so it is best, as it is when ruling a country, to help someone find their own greater understanding of a subject. In communication, as cliche and campy as it may sound, it is true that how we listen is just as important as what we say. We all know that the lessons we learn from our own experiences, and our own epiphanies are much more effective than those which are forced upon us in the form of another's opinion. And so as an educator, whether in a classroom or with a friend over coffee, it's important to strive to be transparent. Knowing when to speak, when to listen, and how to guide someone to their own conclusions, so that they come to reach this understanding on their own. While this can be frustrating and requires the most patience and skill of the three techniques, it's hard to argue that it's not the most effective strategy.
And so I find myself approaching these types of conversations in this way with differing levels of success. But I find that I am able to impart more wisdom, have more fulfilling conversations, and come to find more of my own wisdom from others through this practice. And for this reason I fell as though this information is important to pass on, to anyone who may wish to think freely about it. It's these things which make me proud of how far I've come, excited for how far I have left to go, and grateful that I have the opportunity to speak with so many different people at so many different stages within this process. I look forward to having a similar conversation with you in the future. Until then, I send my love. Take care.
Love,
Michael