Something else I wrote...
Okay, this is something else I wrote. A buddy of mine had this half-brained idea to start a magazine, and asked me to contribute some articles. I came up with like 2 or 3 before it became apparent that he really wasn't going to do anything. I kept my articles around just for memory sake. Here is one of them. Now I must explain, this was written when I was in a "to hell with all women" frame of mind. I love women(really I do!!!) But I had just been 'mistreated'(at least in my opinion) by a ex, so it may seem like I hate women after you read this. But understand, that is not the case. I do expect I might get a few harsh comments on this, but I know it's not how I normally think, so I'm prepared for that.
Women. Can’t live with them, can’t herd them all into Montana.
Let me set the record straight. I am not a misogynist. I do not hate women. But I do have some serious issues with women, ranging from my mother all the way down to past relationships. Sit down, lend me your ear, and listen to my rant.
I can fully appreciate that women, on the average, are smarter than men. They’re more levelheaded and patient than us XY chromosome beings. They are more in touch with their feelings, which in turn allows them to handle situations better. Us males, well, we were bred to be hunter/gathers…not exactly an “intelligence-testing” type of activity. As a whole, we males are brash, upfront, and full of useless male pride and impulses. Women on the other hand are methodical, sneaky, and very manipulative. And I don’t necessarily mean that in a bad way. I actually think those qualities have helped them to reach the position they are in.
Due to our genetic makeup, males are born with the urge to mate and procreate. Call it the circle of life (but don’t sing Elton John songs). I had the advantage (or disadvantage) or growing up with two sisters and no brothers, so as a result, I have read WAY more women’s magazine than any man ever should have to. And that has screwed my conception of what a man should be. If you read these magazines, you’ll come away with the impression that women want a man that’s going to treat them like a princess. A man that won’t cheat on them, won’t abuse them, will share his feelings, will share interests, and overall will be not only their lover, but also their companion. But when that fantasy train finally pulls into “Reality Station”, you find out the truth. Looks, money, social status. These are the traits most important to women. If Leonardo DiCaprio was just Leo, the guy who works are Grease Monkey and drives a Yugo…well women wouldn’t give him the time of day.
And this is a lesson I had to learn the hard way. I held to the theory that if I treated a woman with respect and honor, was faithful, and basically followed the rest of the crap those magazines always touted…I would have successful relationships. Alas, this is not the case. I’ve been dumped because I wasn’t attractive enough. I’ve been abandoned because I didn’t have enough money. I’ve even been spurned because I treated a girl too nice. That’s right…. TOO NICE. So basically, I need to become more attractive, get more money, and treat women with a total lack of respect if I hope to ever have a successful relationship. Just doesn’t seem to make sense does it?? If I had a dollar for every time a girl has told me “It’s not you, it’s Me.”, I’d have the money. Just have to work on the looks and treating women like crap part.
Women are always complaining that they want to find a guy who will like them for who they are inside, and not for how big their breasts are or how small their waist is. And I can understand that due to the media, women might think that’s all we care about. But then when they find someone who does like them for them, they end up dropping them like a hot potato, crushing their life spirit, ripping their heart from their chests, and stomping it into tiny little pieces.
Now, I’m not saying all women are like this. That would be a blanket statement. But it is a rational generalization based upon fact. Women are not completely the cruel, heartless beings I’m portraying them as. But they are a mixture of confusion and deception wrapped up in an enigma.
So female readers, I ask you to please make up your mind. You have three options as I see it. ONE: Decide that you do what a nice guy that will accept you for who you are…but you also have to accept them for who THEY are. TWO: Decide that you want to base your relationships on materialistic possessions and unobtainable looks. Or THREE: Move your ass to Montana. Of course that third option is contingent on the government declaring Montana no longer part of the US, and constructing a huge wall around the state barring the evil females from ever leaving.
Women. Can’t live with them, can’t herd them all into Montana.
Let me set the record straight. I am not a misogynist. I do not hate women. But I do have some serious issues with women, ranging from my mother all the way down to past relationships. Sit down, lend me your ear, and listen to my rant.
I can fully appreciate that women, on the average, are smarter than men. They’re more levelheaded and patient than us XY chromosome beings. They are more in touch with their feelings, which in turn allows them to handle situations better. Us males, well, we were bred to be hunter/gathers…not exactly an “intelligence-testing” type of activity. As a whole, we males are brash, upfront, and full of useless male pride and impulses. Women on the other hand are methodical, sneaky, and very manipulative. And I don’t necessarily mean that in a bad way. I actually think those qualities have helped them to reach the position they are in.
Due to our genetic makeup, males are born with the urge to mate and procreate. Call it the circle of life (but don’t sing Elton John songs). I had the advantage (or disadvantage) or growing up with two sisters and no brothers, so as a result, I have read WAY more women’s magazine than any man ever should have to. And that has screwed my conception of what a man should be. If you read these magazines, you’ll come away with the impression that women want a man that’s going to treat them like a princess. A man that won’t cheat on them, won’t abuse them, will share his feelings, will share interests, and overall will be not only their lover, but also their companion. But when that fantasy train finally pulls into “Reality Station”, you find out the truth. Looks, money, social status. These are the traits most important to women. If Leonardo DiCaprio was just Leo, the guy who works are Grease Monkey and drives a Yugo…well women wouldn’t give him the time of day.
And this is a lesson I had to learn the hard way. I held to the theory that if I treated a woman with respect and honor, was faithful, and basically followed the rest of the crap those magazines always touted…I would have successful relationships. Alas, this is not the case. I’ve been dumped because I wasn’t attractive enough. I’ve been abandoned because I didn’t have enough money. I’ve even been spurned because I treated a girl too nice. That’s right…. TOO NICE. So basically, I need to become more attractive, get more money, and treat women with a total lack of respect if I hope to ever have a successful relationship. Just doesn’t seem to make sense does it?? If I had a dollar for every time a girl has told me “It’s not you, it’s Me.”, I’d have the money. Just have to work on the looks and treating women like crap part.
Women are always complaining that they want to find a guy who will like them for who they are inside, and not for how big their breasts are or how small their waist is. And I can understand that due to the media, women might think that’s all we care about. But then when they find someone who does like them for them, they end up dropping them like a hot potato, crushing their life spirit, ripping their heart from their chests, and stomping it into tiny little pieces.
Now, I’m not saying all women are like this. That would be a blanket statement. But it is a rational generalization based upon fact. Women are not completely the cruel, heartless beings I’m portraying them as. But they are a mixture of confusion and deception wrapped up in an enigma.
So female readers, I ask you to please make up your mind. You have three options as I see it. ONE: Decide that you do what a nice guy that will accept you for who you are…but you also have to accept them for who THEY are. TWO: Decide that you want to base your relationships on materialistic possessions and unobtainable looks. Or THREE: Move your ass to Montana. Of course that third option is contingent on the government declaring Montana no longer part of the US, and constructing a huge wall around the state barring the evil females from ever leaving.