(no subject)
Camera Obscura in my head.
Last night after work, I took Evan to the Market and made him pick out some soup because he hadn't eaten all day (he was hungover from Steph's birthday on Thursday). So he ate some Campbell's roasted mushroom and garlic and we had a smoke and he fell asleep in his chair while I watched a documentary on Hitler's plan to take over Stalingrad.
I woke him up and suggested he go lay down and realized that I was so wide awake, I was buzzing. Too much caffeine, jittery from working all night.
I went to the CVS at 25th St. and bought some Sleepytime tea, the kind with the little bears in rocking chairs on the front of the box. I asked the cashier if they had any herbal sleep aids but they only had scary sleeping pills and I thought maybe buying those would be a bad idea so I said no thank you and bought the tea and ran back out into the cold. There were patches of snow in the parking lot.
It didn't help me sleep. I even read the cutesy-cozy quotes all over the sides of the box and thought sleepy thoughts and drizzled some honey in while it brewed (there was a big plastic jug of Sysco honey in the kitchen, probably his roommate stole it from the cafe where he cooks).
Evan had put his glasses back on and was sitting up watching some sports game when I came back in with my mug. The TV was on full-blast and I complained and buried my face in the pillow to drown it out, so he shut it off and went to the living room to get his bowl and after that I no longer cared that I couldn't sleep. I thought about all the things that hurt my heart to think about, all the places I've been that I can't go back to. Our backyard in Omaha, the monarch butterflies and the hot air balloons in Papillion...my first stories, camping in Wyoming, farms and pumpkins and raccoons eating the corn that we planted. I thought about these cookies we used to make in Girl Scouts that I never saw anywhere else, and I thought maybe I'd make them today.
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White chocolate bark
Ritz crackers
Peanut butter
Melt the white chocolate. Spread peanut butter on one cracker and top it with another cracker to make a sandwich. Dip the sandwich into the melted white chocolate and lay it on a cookie sheet covered with wax paper. Once you've filled up the cookie sheet, put it in the fridge to set up for an hour or two.
---
I remember them being much too filling, the kind of cookie you can only eat one of. But we made them for bake sales and Girl Scout meetings when I was little and then never again, so they're sort of index fossils, I guess.
At any rate.
I get so depressed sometimes with how much there is to do.
Last night after work, I took Evan to the Market and made him pick out some soup because he hadn't eaten all day (he was hungover from Steph's birthday on Thursday). So he ate some Campbell's roasted mushroom and garlic and we had a smoke and he fell asleep in his chair while I watched a documentary on Hitler's plan to take over Stalingrad.
I woke him up and suggested he go lay down and realized that I was so wide awake, I was buzzing. Too much caffeine, jittery from working all night.
I went to the CVS at 25th St. and bought some Sleepytime tea, the kind with the little bears in rocking chairs on the front of the box. I asked the cashier if they had any herbal sleep aids but they only had scary sleeping pills and I thought maybe buying those would be a bad idea so I said no thank you and bought the tea and ran back out into the cold. There were patches of snow in the parking lot.
It didn't help me sleep. I even read the cutesy-cozy quotes all over the sides of the box and thought sleepy thoughts and drizzled some honey in while it brewed (there was a big plastic jug of Sysco honey in the kitchen, probably his roommate stole it from the cafe where he cooks).
Evan had put his glasses back on and was sitting up watching some sports game when I came back in with my mug. The TV was on full-blast and I complained and buried my face in the pillow to drown it out, so he shut it off and went to the living room to get his bowl and after that I no longer cared that I couldn't sleep. I thought about all the things that hurt my heart to think about, all the places I've been that I can't go back to. Our backyard in Omaha, the monarch butterflies and the hot air balloons in Papillion...my first stories, camping in Wyoming, farms and pumpkins and raccoons eating the corn that we planted. I thought about these cookies we used to make in Girl Scouts that I never saw anywhere else, and I thought maybe I'd make them today.
---
White chocolate bark
Ritz crackers
Peanut butter
Melt the white chocolate. Spread peanut butter on one cracker and top it with another cracker to make a sandwich. Dip the sandwich into the melted white chocolate and lay it on a cookie sheet covered with wax paper. Once you've filled up the cookie sheet, put it in the fridge to set up for an hour or two.
---
I remember them being much too filling, the kind of cookie you can only eat one of. But we made them for bake sales and Girl Scout meetings when I was little and then never again, so they're sort of index fossils, I guess.
At any rate.
I get so depressed sometimes with how much there is to do.