Fuck me sideways
Well just got off the phone with a crying ex gf. Terry never seemed to get it so i hung up. I feel bad that shes crying. I dont like leaving girls alone when they cry. Rather they cry on me. its always how ive been, my mom told me some sad stuff one afternoon and she cried on me. Since then ive always been there. But being away from my mom prolly makes it more real. AAAANNNNYWAAAYS.
Im feeling like i got drop kicked in the stomach by an elephant and his family. the story runs in my mind. I want to forget it. But i have to learn from it. While its still vivid ill spill.
First i get a text message that we are doing great cant wait to see me, then i get a text that she thinks im cheating on her. {usually the people that suspect that someone is cheating and get angry and confront the other person...are usually guilty of it them selves}
heh i know trust me. (wait i know cause ive been cheated on, im not an asshole that cheats on women and uses them). Then i get an email saying that i dont spend enough time with her and her friend told her something that she wants to talk to me about that she thinks is true.
So i dont get to talk to her for a while cause im working Pickering and Oshawa so ive gotten 70hours to pay for my tuition cause im a werrier. *starting to get angry now* why wont she beleive im working when she sees me at work every day . shes seen me at school more then anyone else... So later that day i get home. And my phone rings, usual call from my gf. Always happy to hear her voice before i get food or do anything. Just nice to get something form someone at least any day. Before or after you go to start a shift. You just generally feel better during the day. Its like a extra back bone, CONFIDENCE.
Shes talking to me likes she angry for some reason, apparently some other friend of hers....
-off topic, girls like to talk to friends, they will infact on a regular basis prolly talk to more friends about your relationship then to you. If you ever get that feeling that you should have said something or should have known that. And they blame it on being an insensitive guy. Let me comfort you right know by saying thats a fucking lie. If they for one second stoped and actually told us what the hell they told everyone else about us there might be hope for your relationship. because the tell everyone else so many times it feels as though they have told you, But infact they have not said a word to us. And yet your friends will assume they have been made aware of that problem before it stemmed into something larger. ok back again
...her friend told that , i only had time to see her when i wanted to 'fool around' (have sex)...
-off topic, sex isnt nessesarily bad in a relationship. Ive had fights before that have been solved with sex. That isnt my intention, but its such a powerful release of emotion and stress that it solves everything. Dunno but i can go more into my thoughts on sex later. Just benificial alot of the times cause its like something that you both can partake in thats pleasurable for both.
...now the thinkg with this realtionship is that when you go for while without seeing her, you get alot of pent up emotions and since she was so eager to jump me alot of the times. I didnt stop her. Wasnt sure i was supposed to stop her. But thats just failure to communicate. Then the whole me being shallow talk, and that i need to be more sensitive to girls needs. My friends said she as psychotic bitch and i shouldnt have dated her in the first place.
But i can honestly say that this was the last guilt trip im going to go through.
Cause like i stated before they love to push and try you over and over. But they will rarely ever show that they care for you.
not sure why. Dunno if i care anymore.
This relationship was over for a while.
it has just dawned on me now, and i needed that extra push.
Dave says now we can actually call some of those girls that have given me thier numbers and told me i was cute. But i think that alot of girls are like this and im not sure where i am right now.
Litterally my heart is in peices. Poofy is helping me put it all back together. Thanks for the attention poofster.
Im not sure should i call back and apologize.
^ see that up there? That is something a person who enjoys getting walked on and guilt tripped would say. I know there will be blow back and she will come to my work in pickering to cry or something. She knows when they cry im vulnerable...
I have to move on. gotta keep going. Im going out to the bar tonite
see if dave can howl louder then i can.
beer is my enemy
thanks to poofy im feeling better
Im feeling like i got drop kicked in the stomach by an elephant and his family. the story runs in my mind. I want to forget it. But i have to learn from it. While its still vivid ill spill.
First i get a text message that we are doing great cant wait to see me, then i get a text that she thinks im cheating on her. {usually the people that suspect that someone is cheating and get angry and confront the other person...are usually guilty of it them selves}
heh i know trust me. (wait i know cause ive been cheated on, im not an asshole that cheats on women and uses them). Then i get an email saying that i dont spend enough time with her and her friend told her something that she wants to talk to me about that she thinks is true.
So i dont get to talk to her for a while cause im working Pickering and Oshawa so ive gotten 70hours to pay for my tuition cause im a werrier. *starting to get angry now* why wont she beleive im working when she sees me at work every day . shes seen me at school more then anyone else... So later that day i get home. And my phone rings, usual call from my gf. Always happy to hear her voice before i get food or do anything. Just nice to get something form someone at least any day. Before or after you go to start a shift. You just generally feel better during the day. Its like a extra back bone, CONFIDENCE.
Shes talking to me likes she angry for some reason, apparently some other friend of hers....
-off topic, girls like to talk to friends, they will infact on a regular basis prolly talk to more friends about your relationship then to you. If you ever get that feeling that you should have said something or should have known that. And they blame it on being an insensitive guy. Let me comfort you right know by saying thats a fucking lie. If they for one second stoped and actually told us what the hell they told everyone else about us there might be hope for your relationship. because the tell everyone else so many times it feels as though they have told you, But infact they have not said a word to us. And yet your friends will assume they have been made aware of that problem before it stemmed into something larger. ok back again
...her friend told that , i only had time to see her when i wanted to 'fool around' (have sex)...
-off topic, sex isnt nessesarily bad in a relationship. Ive had fights before that have been solved with sex. That isnt my intention, but its such a powerful release of emotion and stress that it solves everything. Dunno but i can go more into my thoughts on sex later. Just benificial alot of the times cause its like something that you both can partake in thats pleasurable for both.
...now the thinkg with this realtionship is that when you go for while without seeing her, you get alot of pent up emotions and since she was so eager to jump me alot of the times. I didnt stop her. Wasnt sure i was supposed to stop her. But thats just failure to communicate. Then the whole me being shallow talk, and that i need to be more sensitive to girls needs. My friends said she as psychotic bitch and i shouldnt have dated her in the first place.
But i can honestly say that this was the last guilt trip im going to go through.
Cause like i stated before they love to push and try you over and over. But they will rarely ever show that they care for you.
not sure why. Dunno if i care anymore.
This relationship was over for a while.
it has just dawned on me now, and i needed that extra push.
Dave says now we can actually call some of those girls that have given me thier numbers and told me i was cute. But i think that alot of girls are like this and im not sure where i am right now.
Litterally my heart is in peices. Poofy is helping me put it all back together. Thanks for the attention poofster.
Im not sure should i call back and apologize.
^ see that up there? That is something a person who enjoys getting walked on and guilt tripped would say. I know there will be blow back and she will come to my work in pickering to cry or something. She knows when they cry im vulnerable...
I have to move on. gotta keep going. Im going out to the bar tonite
see if dave can howl louder then i can.
beer is my enemy
thanks to poofy im feeling better