Big Bother
So anyway, despite having avoided it completely this time (apart from Katy informing me on messenger that some chick had just 'put a wine bottle up herself'), I had the misfortune to catch a bit of the BB final on Channel 4 last night. It made my fucking skin crawl. The guy who won it came across as borderline retarded, there was some other guy with a face like a Crimewatch photofit of a serial sex murderer, and it seemed that the only contribution any of the women felt capable of making to proceedings was getting their boobs out. Now, normally, I'm a big fan of seeing boobs, but the people involved were such repellent individuals that any amount of dirty titillation I may have gained was utterly negated. As far as I can tell, Big Brother has now completely turned into the modern day equivalent of the Victorians paying to visit the lunatic asylum so they could point and laugh at the mentals. Sometimes I despair for humanity.
But there's a solution. Here's my idea for the next series of the show: Get another group of self-obsessed, vapid, psychologically unstable, talentless morons, put them in the house, and lock all the doors (so far, so unoriginal). Over the course of the next ten weeks (is it ten weeks the show runs for? It seems like this one's been going for far longer that that) the house very slowly fills with water. Maybe there's a single set of scuba gear for them to fight over, but it wouldn't matter. The tanks would be empty anyway. Maybe periodically, they could have 'fish hour' (or something with a better name) whereupon a school of pirahnas is released into the water for a period of time.
Now that I'd watch.
But there's a solution. Here's my idea for the next series of the show: Get another group of self-obsessed, vapid, psychologically unstable, talentless morons, put them in the house, and lock all the doors (so far, so unoriginal). Over the course of the next ten weeks (is it ten weeks the show runs for? It seems like this one's been going for far longer that that) the house very slowly fills with water. Maybe there's a single set of scuba gear for them to fight over, but it wouldn't matter. The tanks would be empty anyway. Maybe periodically, they could have 'fish hour' (or something with a better name) whereupon a school of pirahnas is released into the water for a period of time.
Now that I'd watch.