Mama always said life was like a penile implant...
My bed was surprisingly cold, which was odd, because I had just set it on fire. As I layed there, ablaze, I felt my feet tingle, so I cut them off. As usual, my body was tired, but my mind wasn't. So, I decided to shoot out hobos with my sniper. As I crawled over to the window, I realized that I left my sniper in my ovarian vestabule. As I yanked the gun out of my feminine oraphice, I felt the hampster trying to escape. Like always. When they try to run away like a slave at a cotton-picking farm. I positioned myself so that I could eject it right into the blender. Unfortunately, I missed and hit the chinese bitch right in her pursed up face. She's had worse. I was going to apologize, but I farted instead. Before long, I grew randy. I called Miguel over to satisfy my womanly needs. When he walked in, I immediately put on my mask. As he derobed, I noticed he installed the penile implant that I sent him in the mail, though I don't know why he put it on his chest. Anyways, he walked over to me, I ordered him to insert his giant skin train into my valley of shadows. I could only watch as he plunged deep inside my cattle curtains. I must have fell asleep because when I came to, my left breast was in my right hand.........What a day.