The Adventures of Sir Richard
In the spirit of the New Year I have decided to share a two of my favorite adventures from the previous year. Well I guess they're not my favorite adventures, but they are definitely two that few or none of you have heard about before.
"The First Adventure-
I have but one true adventure, and it's probably not that interesting, but I enjoy it. I apparently have a distant uncle who has somehow escaped my notice for his entire life. Anyway, this year my aunt decided that as a super fun family Christmas game we would draw names from a hat and you get that person the wackiest gift you can imagine. I got a cousin and gave him a bag massager, it seemed wacky to me. So this uncle gives me a gift card to FYE, which is in it self not strange, unless you know me. For what music do I listen to which FYE would sell? Despite this, I head out to cash my gift card. As I roamed the store, which isn't that much room to wander, I suddenly heard a scuffle. "You don't know who you're *freaking* dealing with," shouts this giant man. My dear reader you may be certain that when I describe someone as giant, they truly are. Then this tiny, the shortest of the short, girl who is apparently the manager steps up and shouts back, "Oh yea, well you don't know who you're *freaking* dealing with either. I'll call security and they'll pitch your ass out!" So eventually, security shows up and chases the guy down the hall with the store alarm blaring. Later as I talked to the girl who had battled the man, I discovered that all of this was for two R-Kelly CDs. I amazingly know who that is and, having heard at least one of his songs before, wonder why the man bothered. He could have just as easily found one or twenty copies of the same CD in the garbage.
The Second Adventure-
This one is a bit strange, but I'm certain that at least one of you will recognize my position. Early one Saturday morning several months ago, I left Macon in a dense fog. I remember the morning distinctly since I was supposed to leave the previous afternoon, but we all know how certain distractions can creep into one's life and inspire one to linger watching old movies and wandering campus, that was a fun evening. The next morning, as I drove through the fog, I decided to take the most direct route home, through the forests. It was there that I encountered the first strange sight of the day. There in the middle of the road lay three large black dogs. Lab mixes most likely, but I must say that they had about them the very look of the dog which portends doom. I blew the air horn several times, but the hounds would not be moved. Instead, they stood slowly and stared at me as they swaggered back into the forest. I put the dogs aside and journeyed on, for I was late for the festival. I put the dogs out of my mind, until I passed the cemetery on my way back. There lay three dogs, almost exactly the same, atop a grave. I didn't find out until later that day that my grandmother had died. Pretty strange eh?
Thus concluded the adventures of Sir Richard. He retired and went into the west where he became a little known story teller who ultimately tripped over his own feet and fell into a pit out of which he could not climb."
I thought the ending was quite suitable, since I certainly wouldn't want someone else to come along and write a spurious second part to the adventures of Sir Richard. Remember though, the adventures themselves are true.
"The First Adventure-
I have but one true adventure, and it's probably not that interesting, but I enjoy it. I apparently have a distant uncle who has somehow escaped my notice for his entire life. Anyway, this year my aunt decided that as a super fun family Christmas game we would draw names from a hat and you get that person the wackiest gift you can imagine. I got a cousin and gave him a bag massager, it seemed wacky to me. So this uncle gives me a gift card to FYE, which is in it self not strange, unless you know me. For what music do I listen to which FYE would sell? Despite this, I head out to cash my gift card. As I roamed the store, which isn't that much room to wander, I suddenly heard a scuffle. "You don't know who you're *freaking* dealing with," shouts this giant man. My dear reader you may be certain that when I describe someone as giant, they truly are. Then this tiny, the shortest of the short, girl who is apparently the manager steps up and shouts back, "Oh yea, well you don't know who you're *freaking* dealing with either. I'll call security and they'll pitch your ass out!" So eventually, security shows up and chases the guy down the hall with the store alarm blaring. Later as I talked to the girl who had battled the man, I discovered that all of this was for two R-Kelly CDs. I amazingly know who that is and, having heard at least one of his songs before, wonder why the man bothered. He could have just as easily found one or twenty copies of the same CD in the garbage.
The Second Adventure-
This one is a bit strange, but I'm certain that at least one of you will recognize my position. Early one Saturday morning several months ago, I left Macon in a dense fog. I remember the morning distinctly since I was supposed to leave the previous afternoon, but we all know how certain distractions can creep into one's life and inspire one to linger watching old movies and wandering campus, that was a fun evening. The next morning, as I drove through the fog, I decided to take the most direct route home, through the forests. It was there that I encountered the first strange sight of the day. There in the middle of the road lay three large black dogs. Lab mixes most likely, but I must say that they had about them the very look of the dog which portends doom. I blew the air horn several times, but the hounds would not be moved. Instead, they stood slowly and stared at me as they swaggered back into the forest. I put the dogs aside and journeyed on, for I was late for the festival. I put the dogs out of my mind, until I passed the cemetery on my way back. There lay three dogs, almost exactly the same, atop a grave. I didn't find out until later that day that my grandmother had died. Pretty strange eh?
Thus concluded the adventures of Sir Richard. He retired and went into the west where he became a little known story teller who ultimately tripped over his own feet and fell into a pit out of which he could not climb."
I thought the ending was quite suitable, since I certainly wouldn't want someone else to come along and write a spurious second part to the adventures of Sir Richard. Remember though, the adventures themselves are true.