i feel like shit...good shit, though. not bad or bull shit.

[ricelover]

Do you ever wake up and wonder what kind of person you've become? If when you were 8 or 10, if this is how you imagined yourself being now? I do that alot these days, and I've recently come to the realization that I am spiraling further and further away from whom I've always wanted to be. When I was 17, I knew exactly what was going on and who I

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[2late2bgracious]

I had no idea that you did coke.
I'm recovering from my addiction right now, I've been clean for 24 days.
Perhaps you have some words of wisdom for me, since I am still suffering physically and mentally.
It's so strange how a new door opens every day... I feel I know so much more about you than I did before.
I definitely think that we could have things to talk about.

[ricelover]

it's tough...really tough. i had to go through some intense rehab to get over it. and the worst part is, after 2 years of being clean, i can still be tempted so easily.
new doors are found everywhere, some are the right doors, some are the wrong doors...it's all a matter of figuring out which one is right. or maybe it's all based on chance.

[anonymous]

wow, Kev what are you thinking? You mention freedom independance and inspiration. you need only to look around to see all these things. Altering your wonderful mind is such a short term fix that will 100% of the time lead to self distruction and pain for those who love you.

May I suggest to hit your knees on turn your life over to the only thing, the only thing that will ever give you peace. 2,000 years later they are still talking about a guy who wore sandals and was nailed to a cross. why? because He came to save you and me. Jesus is the only answer you will ever need. but He will never come to you unless you first come to Him. what a great set up..... Trust Him He is waiting. SAy a prayer and ask Him to be your savior and ruler and you will forever be in His arms.

By the way the weather in Or. rocks... stop running away from Jesus. He is the only way to Heaven and eternal life.

safe travels maybe see you when you return... u know who this is...

[ricelover]

as an exaddict, it's a harder battle to accept things as they are and as someone who doesn't have a very positive view of life in general, you must understand that accepting Him is difficult. yes, i do believe he is my saviour, and he has been there for me when times are hard. but you must also understand that i don't see why he wasn't there for others. and I am sure that I will come to terms with myself, but not until I come to terms with how he has worked in the past. maybe there is a reason to it all, and I'm not seeing it. so I'm going to keep on looking through it all, hoping to find it.

[anonymous]

glad to hear this I will pray for u.