The title got deleted and I forgot what it said...oh yeah everything worrying me....
Oh my god it's a miracle I'm actually updating this thing like I said I would?! Holy shit...that never happens. At any rate as the title said I'm gonna get everything out on the table as for what's bothering me:
First and foremost, the fact that I don't have a job and pretty much homeless. I get to stay in this house for a month before "I'll get on April's nerves." So I'm trying to make this as short as I possibly can. Or at least I'm going to try too...with that being said brings me to my next point.
What the hell am I going to do? I could get a job here...but with me being evicted and leaving my apartment looking like a shithole I'm pretty sure I won't find a single place to rent in Angelo. Another option is to move to Fort Worth and live with Gwen. It'd be nice, I'm not going to lie. Getting a job would be a hell of a lot easier there then here. Not to mention I'd get to hang out in a big city, so the chances of me getting bored are next to none. I had a fun time when I went up there for the Incubus concert and hung out with Gwen. Not to mention the epic BS game with Jackie and Gwen. It's been a while since I was THAT happy. On the downside, I'd be away from my entire comfort zone. I'd have to meet new people got though a lot of change. Change and I don't mix. Leo would have to be in a crate for most of the time till I find some way of getting a place up there. I think the a bigger city would be good for me though. I can break out, be who I want to...maybe start dating again.
Which leads the next wall. I'm dating a great girl named Taylor right now, everything happened really fast. So it's hard to explain. She's great, I could even see loving her....she's written poetry about me. That's never happened before. Well in any case she's asked me to move in with her as well. i just gotta get a job and Leo has to become an outside dog. Here is where we get into the problems: If I move in with her I think things will turn serious between us. Do I really want to be in San Angelo for that long? I don't know if Taylor would be willing to move somewhere else. I'm not that cool with Leo becoming an outside dog. I mean here or there yeah whatever but permanently? Not cool, he usually sleeps with me every night. In fact he kinda gets antsy if he isn't for that matter.
My dad thinks I should just drop everything and join the military. Army because there is a weight limit after basic according to him. Which is a lie, I've already checked with a recruiter about this back when I graduated high school. Not that it matters the fact that I'm such a "fatass" and all. Yes I am a fatass, my father telling me that in a condescending tone...pisses me off. More to come on him....At any rate, I'm actually considering taking this time at April's to drop some weight and go join and just leave and be done with it. I've always talked about joining as a kid. Talked about it in passing and thought about it when I wanted to do something with my life. I mean seriously, if I join I'd be set for the rest of my life. Not to mention I'd have fun going on tours, I could really start relating to my father...and who knows he may be nicer to me knowing that I'm doing what he always wanted me to do. Funny though, one of the reasons Emily stopped being friends with me was over this....perhaps actually getting in to the military can be my personal middle finger to her? That's a good image. Fact of the matter is, if I do this I want to do it for me...the other reasons are just bonuses. I don't want to look back on my life in ten years and wonder what if I had joined the military what would have happened? Would I be happier? I have no idea what I'd do with Leo though, I can't exactly take him with me through basic. I won't lose him though...I'm going through this hell because I WANT to keep him. Not matter what anyone else fucking says. He's mine, he's happy with me, and I CAN take care of him....even over myself if it comes down to it.
Now that I've got everything moved out of my place I can start concentrating on these problems. I think for the time being I at least need to have a job here...and then sit down and start thinking about what to do next....that and keep the Jenning's house spotless so I'm not completely useless.
First and foremost, the fact that I don't have a job and pretty much homeless. I get to stay in this house for a month before "I'll get on April's nerves." So I'm trying to make this as short as I possibly can. Or at least I'm going to try too...with that being said brings me to my next point.
What the hell am I going to do? I could get a job here...but with me being evicted and leaving my apartment looking like a shithole I'm pretty sure I won't find a single place to rent in Angelo. Another option is to move to Fort Worth and live with Gwen. It'd be nice, I'm not going to lie. Getting a job would be a hell of a lot easier there then here. Not to mention I'd get to hang out in a big city, so the chances of me getting bored are next to none. I had a fun time when I went up there for the Incubus concert and hung out with Gwen. Not to mention the epic BS game with Jackie and Gwen. It's been a while since I was THAT happy. On the downside, I'd be away from my entire comfort zone. I'd have to meet new people got though a lot of change. Change and I don't mix. Leo would have to be in a crate for most of the time till I find some way of getting a place up there. I think the a bigger city would be good for me though. I can break out, be who I want to...maybe start dating again.
Which leads the next wall. I'm dating a great girl named Taylor right now, everything happened really fast. So it's hard to explain. She's great, I could even see loving her....she's written poetry about me. That's never happened before. Well in any case she's asked me to move in with her as well. i just gotta get a job and Leo has to become an outside dog. Here is where we get into the problems: If I move in with her I think things will turn serious between us. Do I really want to be in San Angelo for that long? I don't know if Taylor would be willing to move somewhere else. I'm not that cool with Leo becoming an outside dog. I mean here or there yeah whatever but permanently? Not cool, he usually sleeps with me every night. In fact he kinda gets antsy if he isn't for that matter.
My dad thinks I should just drop everything and join the military. Army because there is a weight limit after basic according to him. Which is a lie, I've already checked with a recruiter about this back when I graduated high school. Not that it matters the fact that I'm such a "fatass" and all. Yes I am a fatass, my father telling me that in a condescending tone...pisses me off. More to come on him....At any rate, I'm actually considering taking this time at April's to drop some weight and go join and just leave and be done with it. I've always talked about joining as a kid. Talked about it in passing and thought about it when I wanted to do something with my life. I mean seriously, if I join I'd be set for the rest of my life. Not to mention I'd have fun going on tours, I could really start relating to my father...and who knows he may be nicer to me knowing that I'm doing what he always wanted me to do. Funny though, one of the reasons Emily stopped being friends with me was over this....perhaps actually getting in to the military can be my personal middle finger to her? That's a good image. Fact of the matter is, if I do this I want to do it for me...the other reasons are just bonuses. I don't want to look back on my life in ten years and wonder what if I had joined the military what would have happened? Would I be happier? I have no idea what I'd do with Leo though, I can't exactly take him with me through basic. I won't lose him though...I'm going through this hell because I WANT to keep him. Not matter what anyone else fucking says. He's mine, he's happy with me, and I CAN take care of him....even over myself if it comes down to it.
Now that I've got everything moved out of my place I can start concentrating on these problems. I think for the time being I at least need to have a job here...and then sit down and start thinking about what to do next....that and keep the Jenning's house spotless so I'm not completely useless.