(no subject)
i believe solitude has changed me. actually, i know it has.
when i was sick, i saw no one. i was alone in my apartment with kline (my cat), watching movies, cleaning, and reading. in that time i could not drink or smoke. occasionally i had phone conversations, but still, i did not see anyone.
now i'm back at work, back dj'ing, and back to going out, but not as frequently. saturday was the first day out and it felt ... different. i enjoyed myself immensely, but something did not seem quite right.
last night i went out again. and i knew something was off. i did not find myself downing drinks left and right. i was not smoking 1.5 pack of cigarettes. i was not even really talking to that many people. i was just ... there. it reminded me of years ago when i first started going to the club, sitting on one of the benches, just watching.
tonight i will go out again. i find myself wondering if the 'riccer' is evolving into something different. it appears i will have to wait and see.
when i was sick, i saw no one. i was alone in my apartment with kline (my cat), watching movies, cleaning, and reading. in that time i could not drink or smoke. occasionally i had phone conversations, but still, i did not see anyone.
now i'm back at work, back dj'ing, and back to going out, but not as frequently. saturday was the first day out and it felt ... different. i enjoyed myself immensely, but something did not seem quite right.
last night i went out again. and i knew something was off. i did not find myself downing drinks left and right. i was not smoking 1.5 pack of cigarettes. i was not even really talking to that many people. i was just ... there. it reminded me of years ago when i first started going to the club, sitting on one of the benches, just watching.
tonight i will go out again. i find myself wondering if the 'riccer' is evolving into something different. it appears i will have to wait and see.