☘ 015; [phone/action]

[riastrad_ridire]

Comments

B

[velvet_cake]

[Hey, it's that kid who has no sex life. Just what you wanted, another tsundere.]

[His voice is stiffly polite. If it were possible, he would've been talking to Rider, but he couldn't get into contact with that idiot.]

Lancer. Since you are offering, I would appreciate an escort.

[riastrad_ridire]

[HOW DO I HOLD ALL THESE TSUNDERES]

No problem, kid. Where are you?

[velvet_cake]

I'm in a hardware store of some kind.

[He had been trying to make his way downtown to get to the tavern, but he'd found a pack of zombies shambling around in the street and ducked into the nearest building to see if there was a back door or, failing that, if he could wait for them to pass.]

It's empty and the door is locked and barred. There are some of those... [he hesitates to say the word 'zombie', it's just so undignified] ...creatures out in the street. They haven't noticed me yet--

[There is a loud banging noise.]

...ah.

[riastrad_ridire]

...Take it they saw you, huh? Stay alive for a minute, I'll be right there.

[look at all these fucks I give.]

[velvet_cake]

[Those banging noises are getting louder and more insistent.]

If it isn't too much trouble, try to hurry the hell up!

[Waver is not exactly much of a fighter and holy shit where did all those zombies come from]

[riastrad_ridire]

[Oh don't mind him. Just being the fastest Servant with the fastest goddamn horse. Both of which will be killing zombies about ten seconds later.]

[velvet_cake]

[Oh, good, because the zombies have broken the glass in the door by that point, and Waver is trying to fire concussive shots at them without hitting the frame. Considering that he is HOLY SHIT ZOMBIES at the moment, his aim isn't exactly great.]

[COME SAVE THE TSUNDERE, LANCER. Clearly it's what you're good at.]

[riastrad_ridire]

[Boy, it sure is a good thing Lancer gets shot at by a tsundere all the time.]

Hey, watch who the hell you're aiming at!

[velvet_cake]

[BANG]

[A squishy zombie head exploded.]

Stop being in the way, then!

[The tsunning will continue until morale improves.]

[riastrad_ridire]

Do you want my help or not?!

Another zombie got is face stabbed in, while a third got his head booted off by a fucking horse.]

[This is really happening, folks.]

[velvet_cake]

You're a Servant, aren't you! You outclass these things, so why haven't you killed them all yet?!

[BANG]

Rider would have taken care of them all by now!

[riastrad_ridire]

Oh, shut the hell up!

[NOW HE SEES WHERE RIN GETS THIS SHIT FROM]

[velvet_cake]

[Waver is the original tsundere. Deal with it.]

Quit arguing with me and just kill the damn things! If you weren't complaining-- [BANG] --and running your mouth, you'd be getting rid of them more efficiently!

[riastrad_ridire]

I'll run my mouth all I damn well want, so quit shooting at me and learn how to aim!

[velvet_cake]

Lancers are known for their agility, so you ought to be able to dodge!

[Face it, Lancer, you aren't going to win this fight. Just kill all the zombies so the argument will go away.]

Or should I assume that you simply aren't fast enough?

[riastrad_ridire]

What'd I say about shutting the hell up?!

[FINE BRB ZOMBIE MURDERING.]