Jul 13, 2011 07:54
Yo, Mayfield.
[Lancer's tone was as light and casual as always, and he sounded as if he was in a pretty decent mood. Which contrasted particularly sharply with what he was about to say.]
Did you guys know I had a brother? He fought against the country I decided to protect, so I killed him. And y'know...when you're a knight, you have to stick to this whole 'others before yourself' thing. So even though I didn't want to fight him--pleaded with him not to do something so stupid, even--it didn't matter. I killed him the same as the hundreds of other people I've killed in the past. And I don't regret it. I wish I did, but I can't. Because if I had done anything differently, my country would've suffered for it.
I can protect an entire country, but I can't save the people that actually mean something to me. I even killed my own son; that much, at least, was an accident. Didn't know who I was fighting, and I made a stupid mistake. Now he's probably going to end up killing me here, because when he gets the rematch he deserves there's no way I'll be able to hurt him knowing who he is. Y'know, he's just as tough to beat in a fight as I am now--I couldn't be more proud of him for that if I tried.
[Lancer sounded more confused than cheerful now, and maybe even a little distressed. Why was he saying all this? Why couldn't he just shut the hell up?]
I'm a knight. Culann's Hound, the demigod hero and guardian of Ulster. Even though that's true, do you know what the last thing I did before I came to Mayfield was? I was forced to kill myself because I wouldn't hurt a girl I might've called my friend, and there was nothing I could do but kill the bastard responsible before I died.
Even when I do the right thing, I can't catch a break. Figures, doesn't it?
[He laughed, though it sounded forced and unsteady.]
...shit, I want to go home. This town is one pain in the neck after another.
ulster cycle is depressing,
really dumb fo' real,
could always be worse,
perfectly well-adjusted individual,
family issues,
dammit lancer shut up,
kotomine sucks,
did i mention i hate kotomine,
adamantium woobie