Jul 04, 2011 01:49
who the fuck am i again,
☆nina,
look at your life look at your choices,
how did this post get so long,
☆connla,
☆rin,
fuck everything,
e rank luck wins every time,
this deer is teal in color,
shiiiiiiit,
not-so-easy amnesia,
adamantium woobie,
what is even going on,
shit is gonna get real
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[--no, he was supposed to answer to that. Where'd he even get a name like that? And who was he talking to?]
'Nina-'
'Anna-'
...I...what is it?
[At least his voice was steadier than his thoughts, considering the disoriented look on his face. Though the question could have been anything from 'what do you want' to 'what's going on here and what's wrong with me'.]
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[No, that made sense. Mayfield did stuff like this, didn't it? Why did he remember his hometown doing such weird things?]
[...hometown? No. No, this wasn't even the right country for that.]
An-Nina, I...don't know what's going on. I've always lived here, but...but I know I haven't.
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[...was perfectly fine. She lived on the same street as him, always had.]
[On second thought, no--remembering Bazett wearing a skirt registered in his rational thought as something not even remotely correct, and it stopped that line of thought cold.]
--yeah. I remember I lost someone I shouldn't have, someone I should have been watching out for.
[And there was someone else he needed to look out for now, wasn't there?]
I need to find Rin and make sure she's-...wait, why would I need to do that? [Why had that been so suddenly urgent to him?] ...I...promised her something. Something important, and I don't know what--I have to protect her and I don't know why. Dammit, I said I wouldn't forget everything again--!
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That...that had happened, right?]
I think she's...she lives somewhere on Miller Street, I think. But why would I be so worried about-
[He stopped again. Those memories of growing up with Nina, getting married and having a daughter named Aisling...they didn't feel right. Not now that he'd brought up Rin. There was a nagging, insistent sense of loyalty and protectiveness that came with the subject, something he couldn't ignore.]
...I'm a Servant and I swore an oath to protect her. I'm Servant Lancer. Setanta mac Sualtam, Cu Chulainn, and whatever the hell else people call me now. I'm not human and this isn't home. I can't forget that. I...need to be there if she's as bad as the rest of us. I have to protect my Master.
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What about you? How're you doing with all this?
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...it doesn't matter which one seems better, it matters which one is right. Forgetting painful memories is just...running away, isn't it? Even though they hurt, they're still important.
Just relax. Take a few deep breaths and we'll try to straighten this out.
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