(no subject)
hello again:
i've been unfaithful.
quite a few times.
i have a myspace.
i think i've become bored with the internet blog thing. no one ever leaves any fucking messages.
and think i've become obsessed. checking all the possible sites has become some sort of sick routine for me. i don't think i like this. leave me a fucking message. write me a fucking email. call my fucking phone.
i guess i'm feeling disconnected. and lonely. maybe it's because i'm trying to deal with all the inner thoughts: grad school, senior project, akamai, mcp, nonexistantlovelife, mom, materialism, the real estate economy in hawaii, the gym, the guy at the gym, needing friends my own age, etc.
i really just want to talk. fucking call me!
i know, i'll put this out there, wait patient by my phones while nothing happens. then i'll turn it off and find i've missed 8 billion calls and no one left voicemail. oh whatever, it's just my anxiety.
so, saturday went much better than i expected. adrienne wasn't as happy with her demo, but she was "really proud" of me and thought i "did an excellent job", she was "so impressed." she even took notes.
it's a really awesome feeling to impress your mentor.
specially considering how nervous i was during the entire week before,even the month before, i was nervous then. but it ended up okay. i was really happy with it.
my weekend was kinda nonproductive after that. i don't get why i can write all this stuff now, but when it really counts can get my ideas down. i'm feeling frustrated in several different ways. i don't like it.
if you could put all the people who ever meant something to you in a room, how big of a room would you need?
what if when you turned like 23 all the people who would ever be important to you all visited you, at once for day. what would that be like?
i like people. i like knowing people. i like conversations with friends and developing relationships and all that. it's sorta what i'm doing my project about. we'll see how this turns out.
on the plus side, my computer is healthy again. so that's nice. it's more than nice, it's super great.
i've been unfaithful.
quite a few times.
i have a myspace.
i think i've become bored with the internet blog thing. no one ever leaves any fucking messages.
and think i've become obsessed. checking all the possible sites has become some sort of sick routine for me. i don't think i like this. leave me a fucking message. write me a fucking email. call my fucking phone.
i guess i'm feeling disconnected. and lonely. maybe it's because i'm trying to deal with all the inner thoughts: grad school, senior project, akamai, mcp, nonexistantlovelife, mom, materialism, the real estate economy in hawaii, the gym, the guy at the gym, needing friends my own age, etc.
i really just want to talk. fucking call me!
i know, i'll put this out there, wait patient by my phones while nothing happens. then i'll turn it off and find i've missed 8 billion calls and no one left voicemail. oh whatever, it's just my anxiety.
so, saturday went much better than i expected. adrienne wasn't as happy with her demo, but she was "really proud" of me and thought i "did an excellent job", she was "so impressed." she even took notes.
it's a really awesome feeling to impress your mentor.
specially considering how nervous i was during the entire week before,even the month before, i was nervous then. but it ended up okay. i was really happy with it.
my weekend was kinda nonproductive after that. i don't get why i can write all this stuff now, but when it really counts can get my ideas down. i'm feeling frustrated in several different ways. i don't like it.
if you could put all the people who ever meant something to you in a room, how big of a room would you need?
what if when you turned like 23 all the people who would ever be important to you all visited you, at once for day. what would that be like?
i like people. i like knowing people. i like conversations with friends and developing relationships and all that. it's sorta what i'm doing my project about. we'll see how this turns out.
on the plus side, my computer is healthy again. so that's nice. it's more than nice, it's super great.