Life
I am very, very upset.
In the last 48 hours I have had two separate friends bail on me. Within hours of making two different plans to see the new Transformer movie, both called me up and said they can't make due to relationship and school conflicts which I understand, I really do.
But I still end up alone.
And it hurts. It hurts to always be the one calling, to be the one to suggest plans, to ask about schedules, to switch shifts, and extending the effort to keep up the friendships and try and try and try and get so little back.
And I know my friends have busy lives filled with school, work, and other people. I work two jobs myself, a set one in the evening and a flexible one on weekends, but I try because you have to culivate your relationships otherwise they will wither like roses without rain.
This last week has just been the last straw.
Earlier, one of friends had his birthday on the 3rd and 4th at his parents home with most of our friends. He mentioned to me in passing the week before as he is leaving for a family trip to Colorado. This is a rather large celebration that I want to attend. I leave a message asking for details since I get off for the 4th on my evening job and need to ask off for the other before the schedule is made. No return message. No details. The night of the 2rd I call him up and ask for details since I work in the morning at my other job, but had the afternoon off and could join them then.
He tells me his parents live 120 miles away.
Then asks what my schedule is like.
I wanted to go. I always want to go. Why the hell couldn't he have told me two weeks in advance so I could like I asked? I have to work to make these arrangements; it is common sense and common courtesty to give people some notice if you are planning an event.
I wanted to go. I always want to go. Why do I always have to hear about it?
I would have asked off for the 4th, gotten up early, and driven down if I had some sort of notice. Is it so damm hard to leave a voice mail, e-mail, or mention it to me with some more detail then we are doing something around the 3rd and 4th?
If you can't make a movie, can you make lunch? If you can't make lunch, can you make a cup of coffee? You can spare 15 damm minutes to at least to /talk/ to me. To return my damm call.
I try and try and try and sometimes it seems like I am the only one making an effort.
And it hurts.
I am going to bed and have myself a good cry.
In the last 48 hours I have had two separate friends bail on me. Within hours of making two different plans to see the new Transformer movie, both called me up and said they can't make due to relationship and school conflicts which I understand, I really do.
But I still end up alone.
And it hurts. It hurts to always be the one calling, to be the one to suggest plans, to ask about schedules, to switch shifts, and extending the effort to keep up the friendships and try and try and try and get so little back.
And I know my friends have busy lives filled with school, work, and other people. I work two jobs myself, a set one in the evening and a flexible one on weekends, but I try because you have to culivate your relationships otherwise they will wither like roses without rain.
This last week has just been the last straw.
Earlier, one of friends had his birthday on the 3rd and 4th at his parents home with most of our friends. He mentioned to me in passing the week before as he is leaving for a family trip to Colorado. This is a rather large celebration that I want to attend. I leave a message asking for details since I get off for the 4th on my evening job and need to ask off for the other before the schedule is made. No return message. No details. The night of the 2rd I call him up and ask for details since I work in the morning at my other job, but had the afternoon off and could join them then.
He tells me his parents live 120 miles away.
Then asks what my schedule is like.
I wanted to go. I always want to go. Why the hell couldn't he have told me two weeks in advance so I could like I asked? I have to work to make these arrangements; it is common sense and common courtesty to give people some notice if you are planning an event.
I wanted to go. I always want to go. Why do I always have to hear about it?
I would have asked off for the 4th, gotten up early, and driven down if I had some sort of notice. Is it so damm hard to leave a voice mail, e-mail, or mention it to me with some more detail then we are doing something around the 3rd and 4th?
If you can't make a movie, can you make lunch? If you can't make lunch, can you make a cup of coffee? You can spare 15 damm minutes to at least to /talk/ to me. To return my damm call.
I try and try and try and sometimes it seems like I am the only one making an effort.
And it hurts.
I am going to bed and have myself a good cry.