(Untitled)

[rian101]

nothing changes.

i have always known what is wrong with me but never why.
i hate myself more than usual, lately.
i want to be drunk.

Comments

[_redbloodcell]

ryan,
i know this might sound useless or unfounded coming from me, as i don't know you, but you really shouldn't hate yourself. you're a wonderful person and friend - intelligent, random, witty, snarky-in-a-good-way. i know the world seems like a formidable, cold, hopeless place sometimes, and like you're the only one you really have. but you are enough! and even if we aren't enough for ourselves, we really are all we get.

only one person is responsible for your happiness, in the end. thus, you need to make the decision to accept/love yourself regardless of what people say. which is not to say that you need to be narcissistic or blind. but you have yourself and nothing can take that away (and i know, it cuts both ways; just because my parents try to eat away at my passion doesn't diminish my talent).

i'm sorry if this sounds stupid/like an adrienne rich poem. erlack. fortunately you cannot kick my skinny artfag ass. :3 i really care about you. in that best american poetry 2003 book you gave me, i photocopied the history of color poem for my teachers and friends to say goodbye. it's a great book, now i have time to read it.

no sisters of mercy. no darkened rooms.