It's been a while
I never actually stick to writing about my life. Partly because I think it is really boring sometimes. I guess I also haven't written in a while because this journal was just a tool to vent about Dan. Who by the way now is completely nonexistent to me. It really is kind of sad. Maybe I wouldnt be as sad about it if I wasn't in this funk lately. I don't know life kind of has been going along. Nothing new happening. I don't feel like I really have all that much to look forward to. I guess being a senior is exciting. However I also think its scary cause that means I have to start living in the real world. Well back to that nothing new still have my 3.96 GPA..Woohoo..Maybe i should be more proud. But I honestly think a 3.0 would be more exciting at this point. Looking back at my 3 years in college I would say my freshman year I had the most fun. My sophomore year I was definitely in love (but that didn't work out). Now, I feel like I am going back to my shy self. I feel like I can't talk to anyone and actually feel kind of lonely. I guess the whole lonely thing is cause this is the longest I have gone without a b/f. Now this is not to say that I am desperate, cause as lonely as I feel I wouldn't date someone just to date them. But I do like making out. Still not a slut though so don't even get that. So in other words I guess all around I am a sexually frustrated girl that is unwilling to compromise her self respect. I guess I am kind of scared too because I am not sure I do deserve another chance with anyone after what happened with dan. I do hope that i still get one. I am ready for that amazing guy that is intelligent, hot, and motivated to just sweep me off my feet. I think I deserve that I might not be hot but I feel I am at least intelligent and motivated. I just wish I knew what the problem is and why I am in a such a rut.