(no subject)
Ugh, went to a bachelorette pary tonight and some lady (oh, 26 years old or so)offered to flash her boobs in one of our pictures. My drunk friend welding the camera couldn't manage getting the three other people AND the tits in the shot. I, however, got a good gander at her super-tan bilaterally pierced boobies. Rock on. Downtown Orlando is supa-cool. So, I think the key to getting the most obscenely hot dudes to talk to you is to wear a sash that says "Miss Bachelorette" also, the veil that has plastic penises glued to it doesn't hurt. I'm gonna try that next time.
Oh, this is crazy. I went out on the water with my dad for two days in a row in the cold and I either had some allergic reaction or some windburn or mad sunburn but my lips are so fuckin' chapped and itchy and hurty that I've been taking Tylenol and Benadryl in an attempt to alleviate the extreme discomfort. Turns out that the only thing that helps my poor mouth feel better is diaper rash cream. Yeah, I've been slathering A&D Baby ointment on my mouth ever 3 minutes to try to make my lips better. The vaseline and lip gloss just kinda made it worse because they all contained fragrance and colors and artificial crap and it made my lips worse. We happened to have some diaper rash stuff which is only petrolium and lanolin and it helps like crazy. Why did we have diaper rash ointment in the cabinet? Shut the fuck up you nosy bastards. My lips look really red (it's a lovely color) and are swollen like I just had some ass fat injected into them a la Goldie Hawn. Right on.
Ugh! It itches! Gotta go medicate.
P.S. I am drunk, forgive the misspellings, I have a degree!
Oh, this is crazy. I went out on the water with my dad for two days in a row in the cold and I either had some allergic reaction or some windburn or mad sunburn but my lips are so fuckin' chapped and itchy and hurty that I've been taking Tylenol and Benadryl in an attempt to alleviate the extreme discomfort. Turns out that the only thing that helps my poor mouth feel better is diaper rash cream. Yeah, I've been slathering A&D Baby ointment on my mouth ever 3 minutes to try to make my lips better. The vaseline and lip gloss just kinda made it worse because they all contained fragrance and colors and artificial crap and it made my lips worse. We happened to have some diaper rash stuff which is only petrolium and lanolin and it helps like crazy. Why did we have diaper rash ointment in the cabinet? Shut the fuck up you nosy bastards. My lips look really red (it's a lovely color) and are swollen like I just had some ass fat injected into them a la Goldie Hawn. Right on.
Ugh! It itches! Gotta go medicate.
P.S. I am drunk, forgive the misspellings, I have a degree!