Good Excuse To Write Angst
It was one of those days. After watching Your face disappear into the distance, I bought a ticket destined for nowhere in particular.
'Eyes!' A happy expression.
'...Eyes.' A concerned expression.
'Eyes.' A serious expression.
"Eeeeeeeeeyes!" An amused expression.
'Eyes...?' An expression I could reach.
And then nothing. 'You're all I have left...Eyes.'
That was the longest train ride I'd ever taken. Your voice was ringing in my head still, but You weren't beside me. It was the first time in my life I had felt so empty. I wasn't hopeless, but I wouldn't be lying if I said the raining skies were complimenting my mood.
I had thought about this moment ever since You had mentioned it. For the past hours I had helped You packed. We wandered around the streets, stopping in shops when we felt like it. I think I remember visiting a café, where we shared our final words of innocent talk, before rushing to the train station. All of it was a blur. At best I go only remember a few things You had said. It was over in an instant. Where did all the time go?
Nine different men, thirteen unique women, and a countless number of children had moved in and out of the train car. None of the people he met when boarding the train were there anymore. Maybe Kanon was feeling a little lonely, too. The trip to America was supposed to be quite long.
'CALLING FOR 3-E. PLEASE STAND BY YOUR DESIGNATED PORT FOR THE VEHICLE'S ARRIVAL. BOARDING WILL COMMENCE IN FIFTEEN MINUTES.'
'That's me,' You whispered. That's also what You had whispered the last time the announcer spoke for Port 5-A. 'Really.'
You going away was a scary thought. Even if we had grown apart to be complete opposites, You were still the only person I knew. It wasn't just You who only had me, because I only had You. I didn't want to let go. I wanted this embrace to last until I felt strong enough to pull apart. It was selfish, maybe even wrong. But I held onto You while I could.
'Eyes. I'll see you later.'
'ATTENTION ALL PASSENGERS. THE TRAIN WILL NOW BE STOPPING. PLEASE CLEAR THE ENTRANCES AND EXITS AS THE TRAIN HALTS TO A STOP. THIS IS THE LAST STOP. PLEASE EXIT AND HAVE A NICE DAY.'
A lovely day indeed... I stood up and made my way down the packed hallways to the exit.
A girl with medium-length, silver hair bursted into a run, sprinting out from the crowd behind me. She dashed ahead, tripping over something. It seemed like she was looking for someone because she began screaming 'noooooo!' dreadfully. Her bright, grey-blue eyes began watering up. "Asazukiiiiiiii!"
Intrigued by her sudden display of emotions, I approached her. "Are you okay, little girl?"
"I'm not little!" the small girl protested immediately. She began rubbing her eyes with her puffy, fur sleeves. "I-I lost...him...? Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Kôsuke, you big meanie!"
I swallowed deeply. "Umm, here." I pulled out a melon, one I had bought at the market earlier that day. "A gift."
"Oh wow!" she exclaimed. Snatching the green fruit in her littler hands, she smiled broadly. "I've never seen anything like it! Thank you, thank you!"
"Rio!" a male's voice shouted. A boy with a green coat and red hair glared at me. "I told you not to talk to strangers!" The male grabbed her by the arm before readjusting his glasses. "Thank you for finding her, sir. Please don't mind us."
"He gave me a gift, see?!" the female child piped, displaying her melon.
The glasses-wearing boy blinked before patting her on the shoulder. "It looks weird."
"Kôsukeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
It wasn't a smile. I lost the ability to smile long ago. But...it felt warm. "Do you of any places I can stay here?"
"You can stay with us! I like you!" the girl announced, jumping over and hugging me by my legs. "My name's Takeuchi, Takeuchi Ri-"
"Rio!" her companion shouted, and clasped his hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry, sir, but-"
"It's fine," I replied flatly, turning around to leave.
"Kôsuke, you idiot!" the girl shouted. I could still hear their voices becoming faint in the distance.
I looked up at the sky, not too interested in their babble. The sky was clear.
'I'm not saying good-bye,' I whispered.
You laughed weakly. If this was anything like one of those movies one of the waitresses I knew ranted about, the train would crash into the boarding dock, a premonition that it was never to be. We would then walk home awkward, happy, and with each another. You cupped a hand against my cheek. The overly romantic scenes weren't my type of fantasy. I would be disturbed to even imagine a relationship like that between us, but then I couldn't picture myself with anyone else. You kissed my cheek gently, so light it shouldn't have been called a kiss. It was more like how a mother bid her child a sweet night's rest than anything else.
"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey!" the girl from earlier had pouted, finding me once more. "You left! And I just convinced Kôsuke to let you stay!"
She tugged on my hand, pulling me towards her sighing companion. Even though my body was going the opposite direction, my mind stayed focus on the endless blue above.
The Train pulled up and You held Your briefcase firm. I watched, restraining the urge to follow You, as You climbed on that train. Strangers crowded into the vehicle. I was scared. Scared. And maybe...cold? Before I knew it, I was staring at my feet.
Your head poked out from a window. 'Hey Eyes...' I glanced up. You grinned. 'Good-bye.'
"It's so pretty outside! Let's go to an outdoor café, Kôsuke!"
"No! You'd make me pay!"
"That's why you're here in the first place, you know!"
"What? No way!"
I couldn't pull my eyes away. Why did it have to be so blue? So clear? Such an inspirational, beautiful sky?
'Good-bye, Kanon.'
I inhaled deeply. If we would be seeing each other again, then there was no reason for us to say good-bye at all, was there?
Afterthoughts: I can't tell whether it came out like I wanted it to. I've only seen the anime so I don't think I know enough to write a half-decent fic. In any case, I'm happy with the results since I did it. I've wanted to write Eyes/Kanon for a while. It was originally going to be way different, but the PG-13 rating made me rethink things. I apologize to anyone who wanted fluffy Kanon/Eyes. That plot bunny wouldn't hold still long enough for me to get a good look at it... (sweat drop) But even friends/family/the-feeling-it-might-be-something-more Kanon/Eyes makes me happy so I hope you at least enjoyed yourself.
~B.T.A. Ria-Chan is anxious