(no subject)
I keep meeting people I have met before. when this happens, it happens a lot in one day. last night I went to Wreckage (sort of an off-shoot of Tranny Wreck) feeling depressed and detatched, I almost decided not to go. then a girl riding a moped waved at me. why, I didn't know. I did not recognize her, as far as knew had never met her before. in fact, I hadn't. but I went to the show and pretended that we had met before.
at the show I saw and stared across the room at a girl who arrived late with Jen, who I vaguely knew. and I stared and stared at her. whether because of the facial tattoos she had I did not know. or because she looked familiar. in fact, I did know her. I had known her (not that well) around ten years ago, never expected to meet her again and felt glad to her met her again. Nichole (sp.?) had left an impression of abiding goodness that stayed with me. had she lived around Boston-Cambridge all this time and we just never met? mysteries. her mother works at Jacque's.
I enjoyed Nomi's (morninghood's) performance and yet I didn't. nothing against her. I felt detatched and isolated. that only broke during the questions from the audience segment. through some sort of alchemical process, I now really like drag. though men with full beards in women clothings disturbs me now and always will.
****
today I kept meeting audience members from last night's show and from Tranny Wreck. maybe even one of the performers from last night's show though I didn't ask her. thought that I wouldn't run into anyone else when one of the audience members from last night got on, a trans woman I have noticed around. I said something that I regret or rather failed to say something. she said that she had just transitioned three years ago and hadn't gotten the hang of things. "you'll catch on," I said and then changed the subject to clothes. I had failed to give her any tactful hint about how to dress and pass better which she could have really used.
****
the sky did something that I had never seen up close.
it looked (as described on the phone) like the sky fracturing. cracks of blue-tinged white light, soundlessly. and it did so at such a speed that you could see it, like electrical impulses going through the nerves of a hand. it made no sound.
earlier a blue light (like a strobe or like a police car light) like a stammer of brightness had come through the trees. it looked hallucinatory and hten I saw the heat lighning.
never before up until tonight had I seen lightning that up close. even though lightning had struck a tree once as I watched).
"did you see that?!," I exulted to a stranger on the other side of the street.
the stranger and I ended up chatting and talking for around two hours. to condense and cut out a lot, we walked around together, he tried to put his moves on me, and once more confirmed my status as an apparent heterosexual woman. (despite short hair and boyish clothing and no jewelry.) he makes documentary films and has organized a local film festival. the talk ended up heartfelt on both sides, on a park bench. he said he would perhaps like to make a short documentary on me though he also has a not-yet-completed feature nonfiction film in the works. I hope (and told him so) that he could network with my sister (who works in the indy filmmaking scene).
the day had mostly gone pretty crap until by early evening things had turned around. around midnight I went home, phoned a friend, wrote this. wanted to phone my sister Kate also but did not want to disturb her. another day rescued.
at the show I saw and stared across the room at a girl who arrived late with Jen, who I vaguely knew. and I stared and stared at her. whether because of the facial tattoos she had I did not know. or because she looked familiar. in fact, I did know her. I had known her (not that well) around ten years ago, never expected to meet her again and felt glad to her met her again. Nichole (sp.?) had left an impression of abiding goodness that stayed with me. had she lived around Boston-Cambridge all this time and we just never met? mysteries. her mother works at Jacque's.
I enjoyed Nomi's (morninghood's) performance and yet I didn't. nothing against her. I felt detatched and isolated. that only broke during the questions from the audience segment. through some sort of alchemical process, I now really like drag. though men with full beards in women clothings disturbs me now and always will.
****
today I kept meeting audience members from last night's show and from Tranny Wreck. maybe even one of the performers from last night's show though I didn't ask her. thought that I wouldn't run into anyone else when one of the audience members from last night got on, a trans woman I have noticed around. I said something that I regret or rather failed to say something. she said that she had just transitioned three years ago and hadn't gotten the hang of things. "you'll catch on," I said and then changed the subject to clothes. I had failed to give her any tactful hint about how to dress and pass better which she could have really used.
****
the sky did something that I had never seen up close.
it looked (as described on the phone) like the sky fracturing. cracks of blue-tinged white light, soundlessly. and it did so at such a speed that you could see it, like electrical impulses going through the nerves of a hand. it made no sound.
earlier a blue light (like a strobe or like a police car light) like a stammer of brightness had come through the trees. it looked hallucinatory and hten I saw the heat lighning.
never before up until tonight had I seen lightning that up close. even though lightning had struck a tree once as I watched).
"did you see that?!," I exulted to a stranger on the other side of the street.
the stranger and I ended up chatting and talking for around two hours. to condense and cut out a lot, we walked around together, he tried to put his moves on me, and once more confirmed my status as an apparent heterosexual woman. (despite short hair and boyish clothing and no jewelry.) he makes documentary films and has organized a local film festival. the talk ended up heartfelt on both sides, on a park bench. he said he would perhaps like to make a short documentary on me though he also has a not-yet-completed feature nonfiction film in the works. I hope (and told him so) that he could network with my sister (who works in the indy filmmaking scene).
the day had mostly gone pretty crap until by early evening things had turned around. around midnight I went home, phoned a friend, wrote this. wanted to phone my sister Kate also but did not want to disturb her. another day rescued.