Giving up
I really shouldn't save old AIM conversations.. and then read them over and over again to try and get some justification out of it all- REALLY.
TouChFeLTnLoST: well i had no idea you lost friends because of me
TouChFeLTnLoST: i'm sorry i'm such a horrible person for you
And somehow, I did put a little closure on it all. Because maybe I wasn't the best friend everyone held me up to be, but I did my god damned best most times.. and I made sure no one hurt him.
TouChFeLTnLoST: the truth always makes it better
Child : have you stopped and loooked at how youve treated people lately?
TouChFeLTnLoST: yeah i'm doin a lot better huh
Child : compared to...
TouChFeLTnLoST: before
Child : hm..i have a ard time believeing youve "changed" in what 2 weeks?
Child : REALLY
TouChFeLTnLoST: considering you havent talked to me in 3 weeks you shouldn't have an opinion
It's hard to believe they put up a front just to say goodbye right before I moved. And here I was thinking maybe it'll turn out different this time. Maybe I'll wake up the next morning and decide it's not worth leaving over. Maybe if I stayed things had worked themselves out.
Child : cause it wont happen..you had my COMPLETE trust on everything
Child : and you blew it
TouChFeLTnLoST: i blew it?
TouChFeLTnLoST: lol fuck it
..So many friends I backstabbed. So many things I wish I could undo.
Child : but apparently a good self image is the most important thing to you so
..Nothing but a bad temper and two best friends to lean on. You had it all.. you still do.. and you left me with nothing but a past to reminisce on and memories to cry over.
i've got somewhere i belong, i've got somebody to love
TouChFeLTnLoST: you should feel before you talk
TouChFeLTnLoST: you're seriously not being nice
Child : o i do feel
Child : neither are you
Child : youre making me out to be the bad guy here hun
TouChFeLTnLoST: really? because i'm not bitching at you and trying to make you feel bad
Nothing said but hurtful words because of bad tempers. Nothing but regrets to look back on.
i really feel like i'm losin my best friend
i can't believe this could be the end
it looks as though you're letting go
and if it's real well i dont want to know
I never deserved any of it. Even the bad days.
Was all of it fake? Were we fake? Because it felt real. I felt real.. but somehow, it turns out different in the end.
Someone start explaining.
don't tell me cuz it hurts
TouChFeLTnLoST: well i had no idea you lost friends because of me
TouChFeLTnLoST: i'm sorry i'm such a horrible person for you
And somehow, I did put a little closure on it all. Because maybe I wasn't the best friend everyone held me up to be, but I did my god damned best most times.. and I made sure no one hurt him.
TouChFeLTnLoST: the truth always makes it better
Child : have you stopped and loooked at how youve treated people lately?
TouChFeLTnLoST: yeah i'm doin a lot better huh
Child : compared to...
TouChFeLTnLoST: before
Child : hm..i have a ard time believeing youve "changed" in what 2 weeks?
Child : REALLY
TouChFeLTnLoST: considering you havent talked to me in 3 weeks you shouldn't have an opinion
It's hard to believe they put up a front just to say goodbye right before I moved. And here I was thinking maybe it'll turn out different this time. Maybe I'll wake up the next morning and decide it's not worth leaving over. Maybe if I stayed things had worked themselves out.
Child : cause it wont happen..you had my COMPLETE trust on everything
Child : and you blew it
TouChFeLTnLoST: i blew it?
TouChFeLTnLoST: lol fuck it
..So many friends I backstabbed. So many things I wish I could undo.
Child : but apparently a good self image is the most important thing to you so
..Nothing but a bad temper and two best friends to lean on. You had it all.. you still do.. and you left me with nothing but a past to reminisce on and memories to cry over.
i've got somewhere i belong, i've got somebody to love
TouChFeLTnLoST: you should feel before you talk
TouChFeLTnLoST: you're seriously not being nice
Child : o i do feel
Child : neither are you
Child : youre making me out to be the bad guy here hun
TouChFeLTnLoST: really? because i'm not bitching at you and trying to make you feel bad
Nothing said but hurtful words because of bad tempers. Nothing but regrets to look back on.
i really feel like i'm losin my best friend
i can't believe this could be the end
it looks as though you're letting go
and if it's real well i dont want to know
I never deserved any of it. Even the bad days.
Was all of it fake? Were we fake? Because it felt real. I felt real.. but somehow, it turns out different in the end.
Someone start explaining.
don't tell me cuz it hurts