♥disbelief.
I haven't felt much like talking lately. Or really, much like doing anything. I've spent the percentage of my time locked up in my room listening to music, scribbling random thoughts out onto paper, shutting myself off from everybody else. It seems like all I ever hear anymore is how miserable I look in school, or how anti-social I've become. Months ago, this would've driven me insane, but to be perfectly honest - it doesn't affect me now. I guess I'm more scared of getting close to people and getting hurt again. I'm scared of making friends, or keeping friends - I wouldn't know. If it weren't for Gerard, I don't know what I'd do right now. He's constantly there for me, behind me 100%, holding me tightly in his arms, keeping me safe from the rest of the world. I've started feeling like I should let go of my crazy notions of how the world could be, or the things that could be achieved&start accepting reality. Living in a daydream is beautiful, but could painfully crash at anytime when I'm faced with the way things really are. I've been so moody&impossible lately. I get mad so easily now, and I'm mad at myself for writing this when I know I'm actually really happy. Funny how these shitty cloudy winter days can twist your insides.