♥torn.
My mind is racing with so many different ideas and thoughts. I've finally concluded that there's a million wrong choices to make&only one right choice in every situation -- Once you make the wrong choice, who's to say there's a right one? Sometimes there is no right choice. Sometimes you have to make a choice regardless. In life, we spend too much time procrastinating and seeking non-existent alternatives. There is no way out.
It's wrong for me to classify this as a 'mistake'. Mistakes are decisions made when we put ourselves in that particular scenario. I'm just so fucking tired. Tired of people assuming they know how it is, because they don't. Tired of people pushing their narrowminded ideas upon me. As if they're so positive they know what they'd do in this situation. You might think you would now. I thought I did. Funny how your mind changes so very quickly once you find yourself in that situation.
I guess, above all -- I'm just angry. Angry at myself for being in this situation, angry at everyone else for not understanding. I'm glad that you care. Care until you find out the entire story, and so you can provide good gossip for a good time when all your friends&yourself are gathered together. I'm glad I provide you entertainment. My life is so fucking entertaining, isn't it?
You don't even know me. You don't know who I am, or how I am, or even why I act the way I do at times. You never ask. The only reason you're interested in me is because I give you something out of the ordinary to watch. My life is so unlike yours that it intrigues you. You love to see me in positions like this. You love it when I don't know where to go, you love to see people suffer. In all honesty .. I feel bad for YOU. Your life has become so routine&ordinary that you seek to become involved in mine. Or someone elses'. Just so you know what it's like to be imperfect. Lovely.
This is directed toward one person in particular. Chances are, it's not you. For those who have become a shoulder for me to cry on, and a phonecall away - I love you. Half of the people who care enough to ask, and then turn their head everytime they see me, it doesn't hurt anymore. Most of you I had considered to be my very best friends up until this point. I would run a thousand fucking miles if you needed my help, I would break out of my own life&my own routine to find myself at your doorstep, making you laugh until half of all the pain you were feeling had dissolved. I WOULD BE THERE FOR YOU. And I guess it disappoints me that you never felt the same. I could say a million things about myself, but one of my best traits is that I'm a good friend. Think about it, are you?
The only thing that any of this has taught me is how young I really am. How young I am&how much I have yet to learn. So don't accuse me of thinking I'm better than any one of you, or that I know what's right&what's wrong. Because like I said before, I have no clue.
The last thing I need is for you to force your ideas on me. I'm not even listening anymore.
It's wrong for me to classify this as a 'mistake'. Mistakes are decisions made when we put ourselves in that particular scenario. I'm just so fucking tired. Tired of people assuming they know how it is, because they don't. Tired of people pushing their narrowminded ideas upon me. As if they're so positive they know what they'd do in this situation. You might think you would now. I thought I did. Funny how your mind changes so very quickly once you find yourself in that situation.
I guess, above all -- I'm just angry. Angry at myself for being in this situation, angry at everyone else for not understanding. I'm glad that you care. Care until you find out the entire story, and so you can provide good gossip for a good time when all your friends&yourself are gathered together. I'm glad I provide you entertainment. My life is so fucking entertaining, isn't it?
You don't even know me. You don't know who I am, or how I am, or even why I act the way I do at times. You never ask. The only reason you're interested in me is because I give you something out of the ordinary to watch. My life is so unlike yours that it intrigues you. You love to see me in positions like this. You love it when I don't know where to go, you love to see people suffer. In all honesty .. I feel bad for YOU. Your life has become so routine&ordinary that you seek to become involved in mine. Or someone elses'. Just so you know what it's like to be imperfect. Lovely.
This is directed toward one person in particular. Chances are, it's not you. For those who have become a shoulder for me to cry on, and a phonecall away - I love you. Half of the people who care enough to ask, and then turn their head everytime they see me, it doesn't hurt anymore. Most of you I had considered to be my very best friends up until this point. I would run a thousand fucking miles if you needed my help, I would break out of my own life&my own routine to find myself at your doorstep, making you laugh until half of all the pain you were feeling had dissolved. I WOULD BE THERE FOR YOU. And I guess it disappoints me that you never felt the same. I could say a million things about myself, but one of my best traits is that I'm a good friend. Think about it, are you?
The only thing that any of this has taught me is how young I really am. How young I am&how much I have yet to learn. So don't accuse me of thinking I'm better than any one of you, or that I know what's right&what's wrong. Because like I said before, I have no clue.
The last thing I need is for you to force your ideas on me. I'm not even listening anymore.