the wall
again, i'm here. i have a paper due by 4-ish this afternoon and i just can't make myself write. had i been smart, i would have started this shit days ago. but instead i went camping. but this was quite the educational camping trip. i learned that i can fit in the dryers in the laundromat at lake cachuma. i learned that no one should ever eat taco salad again. i learned that you shouldn't keep your shoes really close to the edge of the tent when it's raining. you will wake up with wet shoes, even though you thought it would be cool since they were, after all, inside the tent. i learned that it is very difficult to start a fire in the rain. i learned that amanda is scared of people who poop in front of each other. i learned that when starting a fire in the rain, lighter fluid is your best bet. if there's no lighter fluid available, i suggest you borrow a technique from manda. first you need sticks. then you place the sticks inside the cardboard toilet paper tube thingy, while there is still a fair amount of toilet paper on the roll. the next step is essential. take your makeshift torch and smear it with the bacon grease from the bacon you ate earlier. carefully approach the camping stove and ignite your torch. being mindful not to let the flame go out, run back to the fire and try to get the soggy cardboard from the cheese nip box and the empty packs of cigarettes to catch fire, even though they've been getting rained on for quite some time. blow gently. then send me to the store to get lighter fluid.