Have acquired a decorative crate. Very pleased by how nice it looks in the middle of my living room. Some trouble during the assembly process as before I could assemble it I first had to remove all of the nails from its original incarnation as a functional crate.
ab3nd kindly agreed to help but our efforts were derailed when we discovered that the sound of hammering on the front steps had so alarmed my neighbor's daughter that she called 911.
It's not even a crate of unspeakable evil...yet.