a mild case of the crazies....
So...like a leper I come squirming on my torso leaving a trail of flesh behind me. My limbs are tattered and my history is long. Livejournal will once again bring solace to a mind of madness and insanities.
Where should I begin...
Where am I now...
Lets go with that.
I find myself in the Northern reaches of the Golden state. In a small town named Red Bluff, home of Tom Hanks so I am told. If only I had a volleyball with awesome hair to vent to. Anyways, the fam has essentially lost their marbles and I find myself seeking new beginnings. I live with my "friend" John who is rather peculiar; even for a straight guy. He was once the one person I could vent to about essentially anything. Yet, now I find myself speaking to a husk of my former friend who is now devoid of emotions and essential caring for the known human race. I thought all along that only I was allowed to be the bitter one in any reference.
My days of really giving a damn and genuinely caring are far behind me. I dont find myself as jovial and energetic as I once was. Perhaps it is just part of getting older...suggested side effects are uncomprehensable rage and a jaded outlook on what the general populace is looking to do for you.
I found myself in this small ass podunk town after multiple violent run ins with my homophobic alcoholic father. I moved back home after things essentially fell apart in California...which I am certain I have posted since then. I digress. I got in a terrible relationship with a fucking prick. He decided that his drug use and mooching of my every asset and ruining my life was more important than actually doing something with himself. I found myself being once again the caregiver for the charity case and overall I think I fucked myself over by sticking with it so long. I digress that fool is ancient history.
Anyways, I soon found out after moving back in with my father after losing my job and whatever whatehaveyou's else that were going on in the world that he really DID NOT accept the fact that i was gay. I had the black eyes to prove it and the overall violence and horrible environment at home was rather toxic to me. LOLOLOL and all that good shit. This past summer my good friend John who I noted earlier was having difficulty with his own father and was having a terrible time. I invited him against my better judgement to move into my house and get away. When he saw the way I was treated and the terrible environment he felt that he needed to get me out of there and brought me to his hometown.
Honestly folks, there is nothing here other than a Wal Mart and NOTHING.
But I at least am out of the toxic environment...
I think once we are not sharing a bedroom things will get easier and I just need to stop being so neurotic over this case. He did take me into his home and gave me a roof over my head. I however am starving and unemployed and cannot afford food...thats awesome right.
Anyways for a general rundown that is how things are looking. I am really just working on trying to get everything in order....
However I will not protest donations for food via Paypal...haha
rowens_pdx@yahoo.com *cough*
I feel terrible begging for food...I just have never been in this situation where I cant afford to do anything with my life...anything would be an improvement. Shit has gotten pretty nasty in my life I just want to end up on top again. (see what I did there)
Anyways, I will try and update more often...HOPEFULLY.
I miss you guys on LJ
Where should I begin...
Where am I now...
Lets go with that.
I find myself in the Northern reaches of the Golden state. In a small town named Red Bluff, home of Tom Hanks so I am told. If only I had a volleyball with awesome hair to vent to. Anyways, the fam has essentially lost their marbles and I find myself seeking new beginnings. I live with my "friend" John who is rather peculiar; even for a straight guy. He was once the one person I could vent to about essentially anything. Yet, now I find myself speaking to a husk of my former friend who is now devoid of emotions and essential caring for the known human race. I thought all along that only I was allowed to be the bitter one in any reference.
My days of really giving a damn and genuinely caring are far behind me. I dont find myself as jovial and energetic as I once was. Perhaps it is just part of getting older...suggested side effects are uncomprehensable rage and a jaded outlook on what the general populace is looking to do for you.
I found myself in this small ass podunk town after multiple violent run ins with my homophobic alcoholic father. I moved back home after things essentially fell apart in California...which I am certain I have posted since then. I digress. I got in a terrible relationship with a fucking prick. He decided that his drug use and mooching of my every asset and ruining my life was more important than actually doing something with himself. I found myself being once again the caregiver for the charity case and overall I think I fucked myself over by sticking with it so long. I digress that fool is ancient history.
Anyways, I soon found out after moving back in with my father after losing my job and whatever whatehaveyou's else that were going on in the world that he really DID NOT accept the fact that i was gay. I had the black eyes to prove it and the overall violence and horrible environment at home was rather toxic to me. LOLOLOL and all that good shit. This past summer my good friend John who I noted earlier was having difficulty with his own father and was having a terrible time. I invited him against my better judgement to move into my house and get away. When he saw the way I was treated and the terrible environment he felt that he needed to get me out of there and brought me to his hometown.
Honestly folks, there is nothing here other than a Wal Mart and NOTHING.
But I at least am out of the toxic environment...
I think once we are not sharing a bedroom things will get easier and I just need to stop being so neurotic over this case. He did take me into his home and gave me a roof over my head. I however am starving and unemployed and cannot afford food...thats awesome right.
Anyways for a general rundown that is how things are looking. I am really just working on trying to get everything in order....
However I will not protest donations for food via Paypal...haha
rowens_pdx@yahoo.com *cough*
I feel terrible begging for food...I just have never been in this situation where I cant afford to do anything with my life...anything would be an improvement. Shit has gotten pretty nasty in my life I just want to end up on top again. (see what I did there)
Anyways, I will try and update more often...HOPEFULLY.
I miss you guys on LJ