(no subject)
so i have decided to start using this livejournal and at least temporarily abandon my blogspot (that never get's updated). before i modify it to suit my personality, i think it's important that i post something. so here ...
when i was younger, i always looked with awe at those people who seemed so happy together. the older couple eating dinner and smiling at eachother. the younger couple kissing outside some random store. people laughing together. and as i grew older i realized how oblivious i was to the reality of it all.
the older couple were probably having an affair. after the younger couple went home he probably got drunk and started beating her. the people laughing were probably crying.
of course, i'm sure that wasn't always the case. but what i have learned is how perception changes as you change. some people see things clearer and for some a fog moves in as age creeps along. for me, i see things so much clearer now. and i don't like what i see.
i know as i've gotten older i haven't become necessarily more complex an individual. i have become more diverse and more cultured. but i'm still the same boy inside. i know more. i've seen more. i've even gotten bigger. but i'm no more complex than i was at twelve. i suppose i'm just opening the potential i've always had. what i have seen change is the shallowness of the people around me. i don't mean the people i spend time with or call friends (although to some extent i see it in them as well). i'm talking more about the people i see around.
i see a common trend of emptiness in the eyes of many people i meet and talk to. perhaps this is normal to see when you grow up. but i've never grown up before, so it's new to me. people seem so single .. hmm .. they have only one vision and one facet to their personality. people seem interested in only the things that they know with absolute certainty will either make them happy or keep them happy. and i'm not against someone trying to be happy .. that's a great thing. i'm against people sticking with only one thing because they know it makes them happy. i like pizza. pizza makes me happy. but tonight i had a salad. it made me happy too. but some times it doesn't make me happy. not like pizza. but i would never dream of only eating pizza.
and sadly, a lot of the people i meet these days are like that. they stick with one thing because it works. and so they live life according to the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" slogan. but life isn't just about getting somewhere and staying there. life is about constantly bettering yourself and even those around you. it's call living people!
and i find it extremely frustrating not meeting people who share my opinions on life. especially living in a city where you are limited in what can be done. i am in no way where i want to be in life. i'm not even sure where that is. but i know i'll never stop. even if i reach that point where i sit back and say "this is where i wanted to be" it will always be followed with "so where do i go now?"
so where do i go now?
when i was younger, i always looked with awe at those people who seemed so happy together. the older couple eating dinner and smiling at eachother. the younger couple kissing outside some random store. people laughing together. and as i grew older i realized how oblivious i was to the reality of it all.
the older couple were probably having an affair. after the younger couple went home he probably got drunk and started beating her. the people laughing were probably crying.
of course, i'm sure that wasn't always the case. but what i have learned is how perception changes as you change. some people see things clearer and for some a fog moves in as age creeps along. for me, i see things so much clearer now. and i don't like what i see.
i know as i've gotten older i haven't become necessarily more complex an individual. i have become more diverse and more cultured. but i'm still the same boy inside. i know more. i've seen more. i've even gotten bigger. but i'm no more complex than i was at twelve. i suppose i'm just opening the potential i've always had. what i have seen change is the shallowness of the people around me. i don't mean the people i spend time with or call friends (although to some extent i see it in them as well). i'm talking more about the people i see around.
i see a common trend of emptiness in the eyes of many people i meet and talk to. perhaps this is normal to see when you grow up. but i've never grown up before, so it's new to me. people seem so single .. hmm .. they have only one vision and one facet to their personality. people seem interested in only the things that they know with absolute certainty will either make them happy or keep them happy. and i'm not against someone trying to be happy .. that's a great thing. i'm against people sticking with only one thing because they know it makes them happy. i like pizza. pizza makes me happy. but tonight i had a salad. it made me happy too. but some times it doesn't make me happy. not like pizza. but i would never dream of only eating pizza.
and sadly, a lot of the people i meet these days are like that. they stick with one thing because it works. and so they live life according to the "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" slogan. but life isn't just about getting somewhere and staying there. life is about constantly bettering yourself and even those around you. it's call living people!
and i find it extremely frustrating not meeting people who share my opinions on life. especially living in a city where you are limited in what can be done. i am in no way where i want to be in life. i'm not even sure where that is. but i know i'll never stop. even if i reach that point where i sit back and say "this is where i wanted to be" it will always be followed with "so where do i go now?"
so where do i go now?