i found you sweet regret
i don't have regrets. i never have. and i've always told myself i never will.
i find regrets to be pointless. we learn from our mistakes. they make us who we are. why regret that?
for the first time in my life, i have a regret. i've always had this .. tradition. whenever i tell someone i love them, i would write down their name and the word love on a piece of paper. when the relationship came to a halt (crashing) i would take that piece of paper and i would burn it. it was all symbolic bullshit that really meant nothing. it probably upset me more than anything. but i always did.
so why wouldn't i do it now? simple really. i had never actually told krystal that i loved her. at least not face to face. i still did the burning thing. but it wasn't the same. at least that's what i told myself. so what did i do instead of just leaving it alone?
we went out tonight .. for a walk. and after building up the courage, i told her that i loved her and walked away, pulling the piece of paper out of my pocket. and then i burned it. because i felt i had to do it.
dumb fucking move. how about i completely ignore her feeings? that would be great. good fucking job.
so to make a long story longer. i'm sitting here. and i can't think of a single fucking valuable lesson i've learned from that mistake. i feel worse. krystal might actually hate me. and i'm almost certain i've fucked up any chance of us ever getting back together again .. ever.
so after almost 24 years. i regret i ever told krystal lee that i love her.
krystal, i'm sorry beyond all words. i don't care if you never forgive me. because i deserve less than that.
i find regrets to be pointless. we learn from our mistakes. they make us who we are. why regret that?
for the first time in my life, i have a regret. i've always had this .. tradition. whenever i tell someone i love them, i would write down their name and the word love on a piece of paper. when the relationship came to a halt (crashing) i would take that piece of paper and i would burn it. it was all symbolic bullshit that really meant nothing. it probably upset me more than anything. but i always did.
so why wouldn't i do it now? simple really. i had never actually told krystal that i loved her. at least not face to face. i still did the burning thing. but it wasn't the same. at least that's what i told myself. so what did i do instead of just leaving it alone?
we went out tonight .. for a walk. and after building up the courage, i told her that i loved her and walked away, pulling the piece of paper out of my pocket. and then i burned it. because i felt i had to do it.
dumb fucking move. how about i completely ignore her feeings? that would be great. good fucking job.
so to make a long story longer. i'm sitting here. and i can't think of a single fucking valuable lesson i've learned from that mistake. i feel worse. krystal might actually hate me. and i'm almost certain i've fucked up any chance of us ever getting back together again .. ever.
so after almost 24 years. i regret i ever told krystal lee that i love her.
krystal, i'm sorry beyond all words. i don't care if you never forgive me. because i deserve less than that.