musings on the golden dawn
Today is a golden dawn. I know tomorrow is the Solstice Proper but waking out of dreams I suddenly feel I should watch it today. It catches me by the heart - I am gasping, sobbing, as the sky turns gold, as the brightness spreads, before the Sun itself is even visible through the leaves. It comes like stars, I can see it rising, the twinkling piercing the treetops, and that disc, the colours, when it finally lifts into view, cycling, pure, wild, profound. I hear myself whispering helio…helio…adoring, grateful. I feel I should get to know this being better, my heart to its heart - perhaps I could come to be more comfortable when it is at its full blaze…and perhaps it is the jealous air and moisture, Shu and Tefnut, that those who once bowed to them now bow to one beyond them - they saturate and make the air too hard to breathe and worship with. A condensing - and so even with the old gods jealousy is a solidification - I should love them into expansion first - and yet the Sun does, I remember, that first breath from the trees when the light wakes them.
It’s been a good year so far though, not too many days too hot. We still have July and August though, and maybe there will be bad days for me - but our cooling devices are strong this year too and will protect from the worst of it. For now, as last year, I can leave the window open and the breeze is cool. There are those who even now say we don’t have a Summer - the Summer they want is death, life turning brown. I don’t understand. It is not the Sun’s will, is what pops into my head. I get the sense of a want for green things growing, richness of earth, things to eat swelling with nutrients, bursting from the ground or growing plump on vines and stalks, waiting for teeth to taste them.
This sense, surely the Sun, so far away, doesn’t think of us. But it is the Sun that touches us that gains this form, the aspect of Sun that is the Earth’s Sun, a stained-glass assumption of shape it slips into as soon as it steps through our air, a cloak, golden and shimmering. I see him now, rich-bearded and wise, kind but too powerful to apologize to those too weak to stand what he brings - he is what he is and he gives what he gives. It is a love-gift and he cannot stop giving it, he will give it until he is all used up, until he turns his last light inward to build his final gift, greater than all before, consuming all in the reach of his final expansion.
It is love. And maybe for Shu and Tefnut, that is love too, this coming together of theirs made the Earth and Sky after all, in the old story - it is only that they do not think of us while they are coupling, saturating with each other, so we doubt the air in our lungs is air. They are much bigger than us, and their lovemaking forgets the ones who need them a little more separated - even in the rain, we can still breathe between the drops. Maybe in Summer when the air is so heavy, though we suffer we can think they are remaking the Earth and Sky, or something better, or something new. Maybe the Sun reminds them, the heat, the energy, the colours, of the light-rich Time Before. Maybe those awful days of heavy heat renew the Earth and Sky - we are just turned away, bowed beneath, struggling to breathe, and don’t notice - maybe that’s why the world looks so fresh when the humidity breaks at last and we can breathe again - maybe that’s why the rainstorm seems to break the heat, it is the separation after saturation, Shu and Tefnut rolling apart, satisfied, ahhhhhhh….
I may learn to love the Summer yet, at this rate!
Joyous Solstice Everyone!
:o)
It’s been a good year so far though, not too many days too hot. We still have July and August though, and maybe there will be bad days for me - but our cooling devices are strong this year too and will protect from the worst of it. For now, as last year, I can leave the window open and the breeze is cool. There are those who even now say we don’t have a Summer - the Summer they want is death, life turning brown. I don’t understand. It is not the Sun’s will, is what pops into my head. I get the sense of a want for green things growing, richness of earth, things to eat swelling with nutrients, bursting from the ground or growing plump on vines and stalks, waiting for teeth to taste them.
This sense, surely the Sun, so far away, doesn’t think of us. But it is the Sun that touches us that gains this form, the aspect of Sun that is the Earth’s Sun, a stained-glass assumption of shape it slips into as soon as it steps through our air, a cloak, golden and shimmering. I see him now, rich-bearded and wise, kind but too powerful to apologize to those too weak to stand what he brings - he is what he is and he gives what he gives. It is a love-gift and he cannot stop giving it, he will give it until he is all used up, until he turns his last light inward to build his final gift, greater than all before, consuming all in the reach of his final expansion.
It is love. And maybe for Shu and Tefnut, that is love too, this coming together of theirs made the Earth and Sky after all, in the old story - it is only that they do not think of us while they are coupling, saturating with each other, so we doubt the air in our lungs is air. They are much bigger than us, and their lovemaking forgets the ones who need them a little more separated - even in the rain, we can still breathe between the drops. Maybe in Summer when the air is so heavy, though we suffer we can think they are remaking the Earth and Sky, or something better, or something new. Maybe the Sun reminds them, the heat, the energy, the colours, of the light-rich Time Before. Maybe those awful days of heavy heat renew the Earth and Sky - we are just turned away, bowed beneath, struggling to breathe, and don’t notice - maybe that’s why the world looks so fresh when the humidity breaks at last and we can breathe again - maybe that’s why the rainstorm seems to break the heat, it is the separation after saturation, Shu and Tefnut rolling apart, satisfied, ahhhhhhh….
I may learn to love the Summer yet, at this rate!
Joyous Solstice Everyone!
:o)