RhumbaToTs:: Post Natal Depression?
A friend of mine was married for about a year plus. His wife gave birth somewhere in September, October I guess. I remembered attending their baby shower last year October.
Two days ago, Sunday morning, at about 5am or so, my friend's wife committed suicide.
My dear friend told me the story. There were a lot of issues which all added up and escalated the problem at the end. He made a promise to quit his job in the night life scene after they got married but he did not quit. His family days were spent with his mom whose personality clashed with his wife's independent spirit. Quarrels after quarrels over these two same issues. He just wasn't around to spend time with her and their daughter. She was the one who pat their daughter to sleep every night. And when they have their time together, she had to spend it listen to her mother-in-law tell her 101 things to do or not to do.
She went drinking with her friends on Saturday night, and my friend went to pick her up. She was tipsy and high, and she got into yet another quarrel with my friend. They quarreled in the car, all the way home to the multi-story carpark near their home. They stepped out of the car, and my friend just chose to ignore her for that moment, walking away from her. And she walked off, she went up to the top of the 5 level carpark.
My friend realizing that she is not following him, turned and went after her. He wished he had ran after her because he did not. When he reached the top, he saw her say "bye", and let go of the railing. He heard the sound of something hitting the ground, and he ran down. He heard her breath her last.
The guilt he holds in his heart will haunt him forever.
How could somebody chose to leave her daughter behind like that? Post natal depression? Was it that powerful? Was it really worth it? Applying eternal guilt on to somebody you are supposed to love? Is that really love?
During the funeral, there isn't really anything that I could say to my friend. I understood what he is feeling in some way. I really do. However, I think that what I understood would never be the same as what he actually felt.
My deepest sympathies Darren. And a lesson to learn from all who reads this story.
Two days ago, Sunday morning, at about 5am or so, my friend's wife committed suicide.
My dear friend told me the story. There were a lot of issues which all added up and escalated the problem at the end. He made a promise to quit his job in the night life scene after they got married but he did not quit. His family days were spent with his mom whose personality clashed with his wife's independent spirit. Quarrels after quarrels over these two same issues. He just wasn't around to spend time with her and their daughter. She was the one who pat their daughter to sleep every night. And when they have their time together, she had to spend it listen to her mother-in-law tell her 101 things to do or not to do.
She went drinking with her friends on Saturday night, and my friend went to pick her up. She was tipsy and high, and she got into yet another quarrel with my friend. They quarreled in the car, all the way home to the multi-story carpark near their home. They stepped out of the car, and my friend just chose to ignore her for that moment, walking away from her. And she walked off, she went up to the top of the 5 level carpark.
My friend realizing that she is not following him, turned and went after her. He wished he had ran after her because he did not. When he reached the top, he saw her say "bye", and let go of the railing. He heard the sound of something hitting the ground, and he ran down. He heard her breath her last.
The guilt he holds in his heart will haunt him forever.
How could somebody chose to leave her daughter behind like that? Post natal depression? Was it that powerful? Was it really worth it? Applying eternal guilt on to somebody you are supposed to love? Is that really love?
During the funeral, there isn't really anything that I could say to my friend. I understood what he is feeling in some way. I really do. However, I think that what I understood would never be the same as what he actually felt.
My deepest sympathies Darren. And a lesson to learn from all who reads this story.